


Corrosion

by mag_lex



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Chameleon Arch (Doctor Who), Chameleon Circuit (Doctor Who), F/F, Romance, Smut, human nature au, mechanic!13, thasmin, this is going to get gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:53:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22402897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mag_lex/pseuds/mag_lex
Summary: Yasmin Khan's life changed in a heartbeat. It had the first time she'd met the Doctor - one beat and she locked eyes on someone she knew she'd never forget. Except now, the Doctor doesn’t remember her...and Yaz has to keep her safe.AKA the mechanic!13 human nature AU.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 206
Kudos: 387
Collections: Thasmin! Fics!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Seeing 13 tinker with her TARDIS in Spyfall inspired me to write this and then that episode with Tesla...that motivated me to get this out.
> 
> Please turn a blind eye if you know the first thing about cars and suspend your disbelief because I know nothing about them 😂 but mechanic!13 was too good to pass up.
> 
> This is going to get super gay and super trope-y so buckle up (pun intended). I have zero shame. The rating will change later.

Yasmin Khan thrust her hands into the soapy water, barely noticing how the hot water stung her fingers or how the foam retaliated and splashed back at her, soaking through her t-shirt and making it cling to her skin. It had been a long day, and she’d barely had time to get through the door after work when Sonya had rounded on her, accusing her of tearing a hole in her favourite jeans. 

Yaz instantly denied everything, knowing that the explanation would be too far-fetched to be believed, even if it was true. Besides, the Doctor had been very apologetic about her damaged clothing, which was only fair given that she’d been responsible for the incident in the first place, forcing them to run through a field of particularly thorny plants in an attempt to escape from some unfriendly locals. 

“Sonya, I wouldn’t even fit into your jeans,” Yaz tried, keen to appease her sister as she felt a headache start to pound behind her eyes. She sighed as she kicked off her shoes, wanting nothing more than to shower away the day and cool down, just a bit. The summer months were always a bit uncomfortable when spent in uniform. And according to the forecast, things were about to get even hotter. 

“Ha. Nice try, Yaz. I saw you coming back wearing them the other day. With the Doctor.”

The way Sonya raised an eyebrow when she said the Doctor’s name gave Yaz pause. 

_ “I can try and fix them, y’know. They’ll be good as new.” _

_ Yaz shook her head, knowing that the Doctor’s last attempt to repair her clothes had ended up with the arms being stitched together.  _

_ “It’s okay. Sonya has so many pairs of jeans that she’ll never notice.” Yaz knew the words were a lie but she also didn’t want the Doctor to feel bad. She hadn’t been herself recently, prone to melancholy moods that Yaz wasn’t sure how to navigate. Not yet. She had been sure that whatever was bothering her friend would come out in time. But the longer that passed, the more uncertain Yaz was that any kind of resolution would happen. The Doctor had changed, and that change seemed to be permanent.  _

_ She shook her head, attempting a reassuring smile.  _

_ “Really, Doctor. It’s fine. Now, get going. I know you’ve probably got lots to do and I have to get to work.” _

_ The Doctor brightened, briefly.  _

_ “Of course, Yaz. Give some thought about where you’d like to go next, eh? I’ll take you wherever you want.” _

_ It had been the Doctor’s way of apologising for what Yaz called her mardy moods. Yaz wondered if the boys even got a look in on the choice of destination. Given how oblivious they seemed to the Doctor’s mood in general, they’d probably not even noticed what Yaz had: that something was wrong. Or maybe nothing was wrong, and her perspective had changed. Maybe she’d just started to realise that the person they travelled with was not who Yaz thought she was.  _

Hearing an argument brewing between her daughters, Najia had intervened and separated them under the ruse of chores. Which is how Yaz found herself doing the dishes as her dad cooked dinner. In truth, she didn’t mind the activity; she could let her mind wander, and it was nice to be on her feet after spending a shift driving around Sheffield.

“How was your day, love?” Hakim asked, his back to Yaz as he stirred something on the hob. The kitchen window was open to try and let some cooler air into the flat but it was still warm and Yaz was glad she’d changed into more comfortable clothes. 

“Oh, you know.”

_ Parking disputes. Teenagers smoking weed. Graffiti. _

“The usual.”

Yaz was actually glad for the banality, for once. Their recent trips with the Doctor had been chaotic to say the least, and their recent trip to Orphan 55 had left Yaz reeling for weeks. Seeing a vision of future Earth had deprived her of sleep to the point where she’d lie awake at night, picturing the end of the world as she knew it. The Doctor, on the other hand, had taken it in her stride. At least, she seemed to; it made Yaz feel more than a little sad to think how easily she’d adjusted. Just how much had the Doctor seen? Yaz felt like they’d only just scratched the surface and that brief glimpse was enough to unsettle her, uproot her vision of humanity and turn it on its head. 

So, she found herself grateful for the reminders that her version of Earth was very much unchanged. Even dealing with sleepy drunks filled her with relief. 

The front door closed a little too enthusiastically and Yaz could hear Najia talking with Sonya down the hall. Her sister breezed into the kitchen moments later, bearing an empty recycling bin that she plonked unceremoniously on the floor.

“Your Doctor’s here.”

Yaz fumbled with the plate she was holding, dropping it into the water in surprise. The Doctor had only just dropped her off that morning. There was no way she’d be back so soon unless she’d forgotten something. Or got her timings out, which still happened despite her protests to the contrary.

Yaz quickly wiped her hands on her shorts, ignoring the way they trembled slightly. She had no idea why she suddenly felt so apprehensive. Sonya smirked at her, waiting to see what would happen next. 

“I’ll just…”

“I knew it. Something’s going on, isn’t it?” Sonya teased, and Yaz brushed past her without a word, snagging her keys and leaving before she could hear any more. 

At one time, Sonya had been right. Yaz had been infatuated. She saw that, now. But it was only when an infatuation was over that you could really see it for what it was, and Yaz no longer put the Doctor on a pedestal. Now, she tried to put a bit of distance between them, protect herself a bit better, because it hurt when the Doctor snapped at her. And that happened on a more regular basis than Yaz would have liked.

All she’d done was make the odd comment here or there, or ask a simple question, nothing too probing, and the Doctor would retaliate like a wounded animal lashing out in self-defence. Yaz wasn’t sure she was equipped to handle that, particularly when it became obvious she knew so little about the woman standing in front of her. She was very much out of her depth. 

True to Sonya’s word, the TARDIS was standing where it normally did outside her block of flats. Yaz could see it from the front door but the doors hadn’t yet opened. Normally, the Doctor would be waiting for her outside, and Yaz had assumed that Sonya had actually seen the Doctor. Yaz mentally shrugged as she closed the door behind her, trying not to speculate as she headed towards the lift. 

_ “How come you always come here first?”  _

_ “I think the TARDIS likes to park herself outside your flat, you know,” the Doctor smiled, leaning against the doors as she watched Yaz approach. _

_ “Do you not put in some coordinates or something?” The idea that a space-and-time ship would actively choose to park outside Yaz’s flat block brought a grin to her face.  _

_ “Well, I do think about where I want to go. She takes it from there.” _

_ Yaz felt her grin grow as she tried not to read too much into that particular statement. _

Except the Doctor was still nowhere to be seen when Yaz got to the ground floor. And as she neared the TARDIS, the doors opened of their own accord, like they sensed her coming. Yaz frowned, slowing her pace as she got closer. The Doctor still didn’t emerge. There had sometimes been a delay between her landing and emerging, that was true - usually when she had to put out a fire somewhere - but the delay was never normally  _ this _ long.

Yaz reached for the phone in her pocket, sending a message to her Whatsapp chat with Graham and Ryan. She knew Graham probably wouldn’t see it but Ryan certainly would, and he’d bring his granddad with him. Yaz found herself unwilling to enter the TARDIS alone. 

* * *

“Alright, Yaz?” Ryan said, squinting into the evening sun as he inspected the TARDIS doors. “Is the Doctor not here?”

Yaz shook her head. 

“No sign of her. I didn’t want to go in. Y’know. Just in case.”

The excuse sounded feeble to her own ears but Graham gave her an empathetic nod. 

“Bit strange, isn’t it?” he commented. “Come on, let’s go in together.”

Yaz nodded, relieved to have her friends with her once more. She’d not had to wait long - only 15 minutes or so - but with every minute that passed with no sign of the Doctor, her mounting anxiety had grown and she’d resorted to pacing in an attempt to get rid of the nervous energy. It had garnered her some odd looks from her neighbours but Yaz paid them no mind, too worried to care. 

“Doc?” Graham called out, the first to set foot inside. Yaz could see over his shoulder that the lights inside were low, making it hard to see. The Doctor sometimes called it low-power mode, but all Yaz could think was that they were walking into the dark. She felt Ryan come up behind her and give her a pat on the shoulder, and that was enough to encourage her inside. 

It took a moment to adjust to the change in light. Compared to the outside temperature, the TARDIS was freezing cold, and Yaz had a feeling that if she could see well enough she’d see her own breath in the air. She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself, wishing for the first time in days that she was wearing something warmer. 

The moment that Ryan stepped in behind her, the doors creaked shut. 

Yaz turned on her heel, spooked. 

“Did you-”

“I didn’t,” Ryan commented, taking a step away from the doors in alarm. 

Yaz could hear his voice but she could barely make him out in the sudden gloom. All she could hear was the thud of her own heartbeat in her ears and she took cautious steps towards the console, where at least there was a little light. Graham was already there, not fazed by the atmosphere it seemed, and that gave Yaz courage. 

“Any sign of the Doctor?” she called out, embedding as much strength in her voice as she could. She did this at work, sometimes, when she didn’t feel confident.  _ Fake it til you make it. _

“There’s a note, here,” Graham said, picking up a post-it note. The Doctor had once told them she'd invented them and thus had a lifetime supply. Yaz pushed the memory to one side, keen to see their first clue. It was only when Yaz got close enough that she could see the Doctor’s distinctive scribble. 

“She’s probably just popped out to the shops,” Ryan joked, joining them at the console. But Yaz barely heard him, retrieving the note from Graham. 

“Could you do the honours? Forgot my reading glasses,” Graham said. 

Yaz nodded. 

“It just says...press play.”

“On what?” Ryan asked. “I can barely see anything as it is.”

“Give it a moment, son. You’ll adjust.”

Graham was right, Yaz realised. She could start to see better now that she’d been inside for a few minutes, but even then the eerie quiet did little to settle her nerves. If this was the Doctor’s idea of a joke, Yaz didn’t find it funny.

“Here! What’s this?”

Ryan pointed to a screen that was barely lit. He’d learned not to touch anything on the TARDIS and Yaz bit back a smile at his reluctance to press the very obvious play symbol.

“It’s alright. You should press it,” she said, pocketing the note. 

Graham joined them just in time for the Doctor’s face to come on screen. 

She looked harried. Yaz barely took in what the Doctor was saying because she was far too distracted by the other clues the video gave her. The way the Doctor kept looking off screen - was somebody else there? The way she used her hands to explain herself was very Doctor-ish but Yaz was certain she could see a slight tremble to them. And her smile; it wasn’t a genuine one. It was the one she’d used when Yaz had asked if she’d take them to her home. Fake. 

“Right. Someone's on my trail. They don't know what I look like but they know what I smell like and they're following me.”

The very idea gave Yaz goosebumps. What had the Doctor done? Where had she gone while Yaz had been at work? It had only been 10 hours since she’d dropped her home. 

Yaz jumped as the sound of an alarm suddenly blared on the recording.

“Ok! Ok,” the Doctor muttered, leaning to one side as she muttered off-screen. “I have to explain to the fam, first.” Yaz tried to ignore how close she got to the screen and how much she longed to reach out and touch her. The Doctor’s absence was tangible.

The Doctor re-emerged, tucking her hair behind her ear as she hurried to explain herself. 

“Sorry, bit of a rush. Basics: I’ve gone into hiding. I'll have hidden myself in plain sight, not far away from you - but I have no idea where. And last but not least, I’ll be human, like you lot! They can’t find me that way. Only thing is, I won’t remember anything. But I’ll still look like the same old me.”

Yaz felt sick.

“Hold on,” Ryan said, pausing the video. Yaz tried to ignore how panicked the Doctor looked in the freeze-frame. “What is she on about?”

“How can she become human? And why wouldn’t she know where she is?” Graham scratched his chin. 

Yaz was speechless. The more obvious questions - how could she even become human, for a start - were pushed to one side by a more emotional one: where had the Doctor gone? Yaz tried not to panic. She’d be back, surely. The Doctor always found a way out of the worst scrapes.

“Play it,” she murmured numbly, trying to focus on the problem at hand. 

Ryan pressed the button without another word. 

“I’ll need to ask a favour of you. I’ve not gone anywhere, not really, but this watch-”

The Doctor pointed to the bottom of the screen and Yaz squinted, surprised to see a fob watch sitting beneath the monitor. They’d not noticed it before, which was understandable given the lack of light.

“This watch is me. Really. You need to look after it very carefully because I’ll need it soon enough.”

Yaz hesitated before picking it up, feeling the cool weight of it in her palm. It felt lighter than she’d expected, but also so dangerously fragile that she almost put it straight back down again for fear of dropping it. 

“Yaz, I want you to hold onto it.”

There was a pregnant pause. 

Yaz could feel Graham and Ryan looking at her and she cleared her throat, cautiously pocketing the watch. 

“Probably because I’m the most sensible,” she tried to joke, ears burning as she tried to imagine why the Doctor would ask her to look after it. It was such a huge responsibility, one that Yaz wasn’t sure she was truly ready for. Or wanted. Normally the Doctor looked after them, but this...this was huge. 

The Doctor’s voice was calmer now, as if she’d predicted how her request would be received. Like she was placating Yaz through the medium of video.

“I trust you and you need to trust me. I’ll come back. I promise. And you need to keep that watch safe. Only open it if you really, really need me, because if they’re still following me and you open it...they’ll find me.”

Yaz had a feeling the Doctor was speaking directly to her. She didn’t know how, but when nobody else spoke, she realised the others thought it, too. 

“You okay, Yaz?” Graham asked. 

Yaz nodded mutely as the Doctor continued. 

“I’ve put the TARDIS into low-power mode and she’ll probably pop off for a bit. When she comes back, it’s safe. Probably in a few months or so, give the trail time to go cold.  And don't forget-”

The video ended abruptly. Yaz gasped. 

“What?! It can’t end like that. Rewind it, Ryan.”

He scrolled back and they watched the last minute again, only to determine that the recording really did end that suddenly.

Yaz found herself in need of a seat and stumbled towards the steps in the gloom, collapsing onto one. 

“Blimey,” Graham breathed. “What...what on earth has she got herself into?”

Yaz realised his words could apply to herself and she started to laugh, completely at a loss for what to do. The Doctor was gone - except she wasn’t, she was here, probably in Sheffield, but she didn’t even know who her friends were. She was alone, more than likely. And she was in danger. 

Ryan sat next to her, pulling her into a gentle hug without another word. Yaz absorbed the comfort gratefully because she had a feeling she’d need a lot more of it in the coming months. It felt like they'd been cut adrift, and the prospect was terrifying.

“She talks so fast,” she sniffed, alarmed to realise she was starting to get upset. “Can we watch it again?”

Ryan nodded, giving her a reassuring squeeze before he headed back to the console and pressed play. He took out his phone to record it for safekeeping and Yaz had to admire his foresight.

They watched the video several times because what the Doctor explained was so off-the-wall that it bore repeating. After a few loops they skipped past the start, which mainly comprised the Doctor talking off-screen. Yaz realised she was talking to the TARDIS. 

The three of them watched silently as the Doctor explained herself again, and again, and each time a little more started to sink in. Yaz knew she wasn’t the only one struggling to absorb everything the Doctor was telling them and she was relieved the others were there to help fill in the gaps. And each time they watched the silence ebbed away until the three of them were up to speed. 

Each time the video cut off at the end, Yaz flinched. 

Something was bothering her. The Doctor had an explanation for nearly everything, everything except one crucial thing. 

“How will we know if we really, really need her?” Yaz thought aloud. 

Ryan shrugged and Graham regarded her sympathetically.

_ How would Yaz know?  _

Because she felt like she really needed the Doctor right that second. The pressure the Doctor had just placed them under was immense and Yaz could have sworn the watch in her pocket was growing heavier by the minute. The Doctor was in her pocket, but also out in the world somewhere. It didn’t make sense.

“I don’t know, love. But the Doc must really be in trouble to go into hiding. You know what she’s like! Always facing things head on. Stubborn as a mule, sometimes.”

Yaz sighed. Graham had a point. The Doctor was the bravest person she knew, even if she refused to deal with her own issues. And she was certainly stubborn.

“What’s this?” Ryan had wandered to the other side of the room pointing to something that was hanging from the ceiling. Yaz pushed herself to her feet, eager to investigate a new clue. She just had to treat this like she would an investigation, she reasoned. Put together whatever puzzle pieces she could.

As she neared the contraption, Yaz’s first thought was that it looked like a torture device. 

“It looks like you could wear it,” she mused, fingers hovering just shy of touching it. There was something about it that made her uncomfortable, a lingering aura that suggested something unpleasant. The shape of it made Yaz think it would fit over her head, and she stepped back, suddenly not wanting to be anywhere near it. 

“Do you think that did it?” Graham asked, joining them. “If she’s become human...it must have taken some doing. It’s not like she can just will it to happen is it?”

The Doctor could regenerate, Yaz knew that much, but she was pretty certain she couldn’t rewrite herself without help. 

“Do you think...do you think she’s alright?”

Graham didn’t say anything. The three of them stared at the contraption for a long moment until another shiver passed through Yaz. She needed to get out. Be warm, see light. The TARDIS without the Doctor in it was not a nice place to be; if anything, it was the last place Yaz wanted to be at that moment. It felt like they were trespassing without her there and the quiet simply served to remind her that the Doctor was gone. Even if she was coming back - at some point - she was gone from their lives for the time being. 

Yaz marched towards the doors, not even sparing a backwards glance. The Doctor hadn’t asked them to find her, but the very fact that she was nearby and hidden didn’t sit well with Yaz. She needed to see for her own eyes that she was alright. Yaz wasn’t ready for a life without the Doctor, even if it was only for a few months. It was too sudden.

The moment she stepped into the dusk, Yaz felt like she could breathe again. The atmosphere in the TARDIS had been oppressive and she braced her hands on her knees as she took deep breaths, letting the warm air heat her chilled skin. 

She turned as Ryan and Graham joined her, and Graham had barely shut the doors when the TARDIS started to fade from view. 

“Oh, no,” Yaz moaned, realising that one of their last links with the Doctor had literally disappeared in front of their eyes. The only remaining connection was sitting inanimately in her pocket.

_ Doctor, what have you done?  _


	2. Chapter 2

_Two months later_

* * *

_“There’ll be highs of 29 degrees in parts, the highest recorded temperatures in Sheffield since recordings began. The heatwave is set to continue…”_

The sound of the weather report drifted out from the radio sitting beside the kitchen window. Despite the distance, the air was so still that Yaz could hear the unwelcome news as clear as a bell. 

The heat was only a sign of things to come, or so her dad kept saying. Every time he commented on the climate crisis, Yaz tried to shut it out of her mind because try as she might to avoid it, all she could picture was Dregs scavenging a ruined Earth in the not-too-distant future. After the events on Orphan 55 she'd discussed things with Graham and Ryan and it had helped. A little. The Doctor's speech hadn't done much to reassure them. 

_Have you ever seen a dead planet?_

Yaz had seen her very own dead planet, now. And all this downtime without the Doctor meant that she replayed things on a loop, looking for clues as to where she the Doctor might have gone. Or at least an explanation for her behaviour. And the more Yaz thought about it, the more the Doctor's response to the Queen of the Skithra registered differently.

_I've seen more than you can possibly imagine._

The Doctor hadn't answered the question directly and at the time, their journey to the future Earth had been so fresh that all Yaz could think about was the orphan planet. But now, something niggled at her. Now, Yaz had a feeling that the Doctor wasn't referring to Orphan 55 at all. She was referring to far worse things. Things she hadn't told Yaz about.

She was stirred from her thoughts by Graham.

“Give me strength,” he complained, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand as he put down his watering can. “I’m too old for this. It’s never been so warm up here.”

Yaz had to agree. The earth beneath her feet had started to dry out and crack, but the grass was still a passable shade of green. Apparently, Graham had been trying to water his garden as much as possible before a hosepipe ban came into force.

“I can’t imagine work is much fun for you at the moment, either,” he commented, easing himself into a garden chair beside Yaz. She shook her head but knew better than to complain by now; at least she had air conditioning in her patrol car. Graham, on the other hand, had taken up working on the buses again in an attempt to keep tabs on the local residents and help find the Doctor. The best he could hope for was an open window. 

“Still no sign," he said, knowing what Yaz was about to ask him next. She tried not to slump back into her chair in disappointment. 

“Sorry. I know I’ve been a bit...extra about finding her,” she admitted, still touched by the fact that Graham had come out of retirement to try and help find their missing friend. The odds were slim; he was only able to work part-time and Yaz wondered how many people he saw in a day, brief glimpses of strangers’ faces while they paid for the bus. He’d even gone so far as to ask the other drivers if they’d seen someone matching the Doctor’s description on their routes, to no avail. Yaz wasn’t surprised - how likely would they be to recall one passenger in hundreds? Anyway, if any of the drivers saw her, what could they do? Would the Doctor even take the bus? Regardless of the flaws in his plan, Yaz had a feeling Graham’s approach would pan out better than Ryan’s, which involved scouring social media for clues. He’d assumed that someone with no friends in town might start a profile in an attempt to make some. 

Of the three of them, Yaz reckoned that she had the best chances of finding the Doctor. She’d briefly toyed with the idea of filing a missing person’s report, using one of her own photos of the Doctor, before realising that she might draw unwanted attention to the Doctor’s presence in the city. After all, they had no idea who was looking for her, or how close they were.

Although she didn’t share them, that didn’t stop Yaz from looking through the pictures of the Doctor on her phone. Late at night, when she couldn’t sleep - which was most nights at the moment, thanks to the heat and her racing thoughts - she’d unlock the screen and spend countless minutes scrolling through her camera roll. 

And she’d noticed a pattern as she’d flicked through the images: there had been fewer and fewer pictures taken over the past few months. Perhaps she’d grown out of the habit. Perhaps the novelty of their travels had worn off a bit; the Doctor did say that certain things started to become normal after a time. Or perhaps she had become less enamoured with the Doctor. Yaz knew she’d hit a nerve when she felt a wave of apprehension at the thought, shutting it down before she could examine it too closely.

“Coke or Sprite?” Ryan called from the kitchen.

“Anything, so long as it’s cold,” Graham replied, closing his eyes as he folded his arms across his chest. 

“Same here,” Yaz chimed in, trying to ignore the chaos inside her head. The main thing was that the Doctor was probably fine. She hadn’t asked them to look for her and yet here Yaz was, insisting they try to find her. 

She sighed as she leaned back in her chair, copying Graham and turning her face to the evening sun. It was nice to relax for a bit. No random adventures for a few weeks, now, just work and earning money that she could put towards some new trainers she’d wanted for a while. The only downside to being home so much was that Sonya had finished college for the term and was a persistent presence at home. She was meant to be going on holiday with some friends next week, though, and Yaz was looking forward to the peace and quiet. She sometimes felt like she was the same age as Graham. Maybe a bit of adventure wouldn’t have gone amiss, after all.

“Here you go,” Ryan said, finally emerging from the kitchen with some cans of soft drink. Yaz retrieved one gratefully, downing about half of it in one go. It really was hot and she’d drunk nowhere near enough.

“So. No news on my end, but I actually opened up a Tinder account. You know, just in case,” Ryan admitted.

Yaz laughed.

“Any excuse. I’m surprised you didn’t have one already.”

“That’s because he’s off the market,” Graham said, eyes still closed. 

“You what?” Yaz was taken aback. Ryan hadn’t mentioned anything about a girlfriend and he rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. 

“Thanks, granddad. I didn’t want to jinx things,” he complained. “I was going to mention it eventually,” he said, turning to Yaz apologetically. “It just...didn’t seem important.”

“But it is important!” Yaz protested, feeling hurt. He’d left her out of the loop. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You’ve got a lot on your mind, Yaz,” Graham said, finally opening his eyes and shielding them with a hand. “We know how much this means to you. How much the Doc means to you.”

“She- well, she means a lot to all of us, doesn’t she?” Yaz blustered, trying to buy herself some time, sticking to simple facts. She didn’t quite know how to put her thoughts into words, despite mulling them over for days on end, so she opted for the most straightforward response, ignoring the implications of what Graham was saying: that they were doing this mainly for her benefit, not for the Doctor’s. Because if that was the case, then what was she doing? Was this more than simple friendly concern? _Probably_. Yaz sighed. She still felt something for the Doctor, that much was becoming painfully clear. Things hadn’t changed all that much, despite her best attempts to distance herself.

“I’m just worried about her, is all. I know you are too, or you wouldn’t be helping me find her.”

Graham nodded. “Yes, that’s true. But you seem to have taken this hardest, love. The Doc did say she’d be back. We have to trust her. And honestly, it’s kind of nice to have a bit of a break.”

Ryan hummed in agreement. “Yeah. It all went a bit weird after we met Oh.”

The Master. Yaz had done her best to forget about him, including how closely she’d stood to him at the casino table, or the way he’d wrapped his arms around her waist from the back of the motorbike. At the time she’d enjoyed the attention - the Doctor certainly wasn’t giving her enough - but when his true identity became apparent she felt nothing but revulsion. She’d never forget the Doctor’s shock when he revealed himself, or the guilt she subsequently felt at enjoying the attention he gave her. Even worse, the Doctor hadn’t been the same since their encounter with him. Just what was a ‘best enemy’, anyway? Yaz was pretty certain she’d never had one in her life, but then again her life was rather pedestrian by comparison to the Doctor’s.

“You don’t think she’s running from him, do you?” Graham asked, but Yaz shook her head. She’d considered the same thing and dismissed it almost instantly. 

“She’d have told us. We know who he is, don’t we? And who knows where he ended up after the Kasaavin took him, he could be dead for all we know. I kind of hope he is.”

Yaz could hear the bite in her tone but she couldn’t help it; the memory of where she’d been taken by the Kasaavin still lingered like a shadow, even in her dreams, and she hated to think about it. The Master had triggered a chain of events that led them here, to be sure, but he was less likely to be the one hunting the Doctor down. Yaz was sure it wouldn’t take him much effort to find her if he wanted to and the thought of him haunting them like that - haunting the Doctor like that - made her feel so angry that she could feel her hands clenching sweatily in her lap.

The others didn’t speak for a moment and Yaz realised she’d spoken too harshly when she saw the shock on their faces. 

“Sorry. I’m sorry. I appreciate what you’re doing, I really do, it’s just...it’s hard. I miss her. I really miss her.”

There. She’d said it aloud and as she’d done so she realised the words to be true. As admissions went it was hardly groundbreaking but Yaz could hear her voice waver and she got to her feet suddenly, muttering an excuse to leave and escaping before the others could see how upset she was.

* * *

The tears had stopped by the time she got home and although her eyes were still puffy, Yaz figured she could pass it off as hayfever. Not that she needed to worry; her parents were too engrossed in a rather heated discussion by the sound of it. _Perfect._ Yaz sighed. This was not what she needed right now, but if they were distracted then they might not even notice she'd come home early. She toed off her trainers, keen to sneak past them and into the privacy of her bedroom, but luck was not on her side. 

“Yaz, is that you?”

Najia had very good hearing. It was the bane of Yaz’s life when she tried to sneak home after a night out. 

“Yes, mum. Just going to shower.”

Najia emerged from the living room, hands on her hips. Whatever her parents had been discussing apparently had riled her up quite substantially. Yaz winced, wondering what was to come. 

“The air conditioning in the car is broken but your dad won’t take it down the garage. Said the one we normally go to is run by cowboys, but I don’t like using the one he wants me to take it to.”

“It’s true, Najia! They completely scammed you last time.”

“No, they did not,” Najia retorted, and Yaz was glad she wasn’t the subject of her ire. Her mum could be very blunt, but Hakim always took it in his stride. With a marriage as long as theirs, Yaz supposed he had to. And besides, she agreed with her dad - the bill for repairs last time had been astronomical despite the mundane nature of the work that needed to be done. 

“Anyway, I can’t drive it to work in this heat without some air conditioning. The commute home was unpleasant to say the least. And since your dad won’t take it and I’m apparently not _allowed_ to, would you mind?”

Najia’s tone had softened as she requested the favour, eyes scanning Yaz's face. A subtle frown, and Yaz knew she'd noticed something was off. 

“Would you mind?” Hakim echoed, joining his wife at the doorway. His apron was on and he was apparently in the middle of cooking something. “I think they’ll listen to an authority figure. That, and I’m mid-pakora.”

Yaz leapt at the opportunity to evacuate the premises. 

“Of course, where are the keys?”

The added bonus was that Yaz was now on her mum’s good side, but Yaz regretted her offer the moment she sat in the driver’s seat. The car was like an oven, and the steering wheel was uncomfortably warm to the touch. As soon as she could start the engine she opened every window and it helped, a little, but the outside air was so warm that it made her sleepy whenever the car stopped moving. The only way to get a breeze was to accelerate so when she encountered her sixth red light, Yaz started to feel the heat. 

Consequently, and contrary to her mum’s wishes, Yaz pulled into the first garage she found. It would have to do; it was far too hot to drive across town, especially with traffic being as heavy as it was in the tail end of the evening rush. By the time she got there, Yaz imagined it would be closed, and this one was very much open. 

Well, the doors were rolled up. When Yaz emerged from the car and walked into the shade inside, it didn’t look like anybody was actually there. She could see stacks of old tyres and hear the distant sound of a radio tuned to the local station, but there was no other sign of life. 

The smell of oil and petrol lingered, and Yaz scoped out the space - full of cars sitting silently, awaiting attention. Except, nobody seemed to be giving it to them.

Just as she was about to leave, a muted metallic clang caught her attention. Yaz moved further inside, finally noticing a pair of boot-clad feet and lower legs emerging from a BMW in the back of the shop. 

“Hello?” she called out, wincing as she saw the legs jerk and heard a muffled bang from underneath the car. 

“Ow,” the voice grumbled. One word, but enough for Yaz to determine that the owner was female. For some reason, that surprised her. She’d not encountered a female mechanic before.

“Hang on, hang on,” the voice muttered, and Yaz detected a northern accent. That was less surprising but something about the voice made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. Her palms, which were already sweaty, started to sweat even more. 

She _knew_ that voice. It was muffled, but it was entirely familiar. She held her breath as the woman under the car rolled herself back into daylight and the moment Yaz saw her face she almost forgot how to breathe. 

_The Doctor_ . She’d only gone and found the Doctor. More like stumbled on her, really. So surprised was she that Yaz only belatedly realised that she’d been holding her breath for a bit too long. Her heart was thundering inside her ribcage and the world was starting to go a little grey at the edges, despite the rush of adrenaline through her bloodstream. Her hearing started to fade along with her sight and she took a heaving breath, trying to restore much-needed air to her lungs, but the next breath came almost too quickly after and Yaz realised she was hyperventilating. 

_Well, shit._

In a last-ditch attempt to stop herself passing out Yaz tried to put her head between her knees, only vaguely aware of the Doctor coming to her aid. There was phantom pressure on her back and then the ground rushed up to meet her.

* * *

Yaz had no idea how long she’d been unconscious but when she came to, she was moving. Her eyes fluttered open to see blue material by her cheek; she could feel it, slightly coarse, rubbing against her heated skin. Seconds later she registered an arm under her knees and another under her back. Going from the pressure and the way her feet were dangling, she was being carried. 

Yaz tipped her head back dazedly to look up at the person carrying her, remembering with a shock that she’d found the Doctor when she saw her blonde hair. It was tied up in a half ponytail, apparently to keep it out of her face, which was dotted with streaks of oil. Her expression was focused, which, given the fact that they seemed to be climbing a set of stairs, was unsurprising. Yaz was hardly lightweight, and the Doctor was so wiry and small, and yet...here she was, carrying Yaz up a flight of stairs. She was apparently much stronger than she looked.

“You…”

Yaz attempted to speak, feeling words fail her when the Doctor glanced downwards without a flicker of recognition.

“You passed out,” she explained. 

Yaz waited for the rest to follow. The Doctor was normally so talkative that it was often best just to let her get the words out before asking questions. But no more words came, and Yaz found herself scrambling for something to say. Anything. She was mortified that she’d fainted to begin with and now here she was, being literally carried by the Doctor - except the Doctor had no idea who she was, or who they really were to one another. Of all the circumstances Yaz had found herself in during their travels, this had to be one of the strangest. 

Yaz stayed quiet as the other woman kicked open a door with her foot, only stirring to action when she was gently lowered to a rather threadbare sofa in the middle of the room. But it was surprisingly comfortable and Yaz shuffled as she relaxed into the cushions, feeling the haze in her head slowly fade away. 

“Stay put,” said the Doctor - _except she wasn’t really the Doctor, was she?_

Yaz breathed a sigh of relief when the woman switched on a fan that was sitting on the coffee table. It moved the air just enough to cool the sweat on Yaz’s brow. 

“There. I know it’s probably not up to much, but it should help. I’ll get you some cold water.”

Yaz watched silently as the mechanic headed over to a kitchenette on the other side of the room. Even her movements were more muted than the Doctor’s, her expressions less enthusiastic. She seemed...well, less alien. More restrained. More...human. 

Yaz couldn’t believe her eyes and she almost had to pinch herself when the Doctor reached for the collar of her boiler suit, unzipping it deftly. Yaz swallowed, hard, when she saw a glimpse of a white undershirt peeking through. She simply couldn’t tear her eyes away. Her feelings towards the Doctor, the feelings she’d been working so hard to burrow away, re-emerged with a vengeance. This woman - whoever she was - was undeniably attractive, but Yaz had to remind herself that she barely knew the woman in front of her.

Before she knew it, that same woman had returned with two glasses of water, ice cubes clinking as she moved. All the while she didn’t utter a single word and the quiet was so unsettling that Yaz found herself focusing on the sound of the fan as it whirred, wondering what on earth to say. Suddenly, she was nervous. It didn’t help that her head was still cloudy, and she took a gulp of water in an attempt to revive herself. It was beyond time for her to say something, so she summoned up the courage to say the first thing that popped into her head.

“So...do you live here? Above the garage?” Yaz asked, wondering why on earth she’d even opened her mouth when the woman gave her a bemused look before taking a gulp of cold water. Yaz traced its journey down her throat, watching the movement of her neck as she swallowed. A droplet escaped the corner of her mouth and trickled down moments later, running into the collar of her undershirt, and Yaz forced herself to look away in an attempt to avoid overheating for the second time that day. Just picturing where that water had ended up was enough to send her mind to places she had been trying to ignore for the past few months.

“As first questions go, that’s not what I was expecting,” the Doctor finally said, not unkindly. “But yeah, I do live here. It’s much easier to nab parts and tools that way.”

She nodded her head subtly to one side and Yaz finally took in her surroundings. The room was full of odds and ends, half-finished projects and exposed wiring. It didn’t seem all that different from when the Doctor was repairing the TARDIS, really: organised chaos. It was just how the Doctor’s mind seemed to work, regardless of her nature. 

“Sorry. I got you a bit oily, I think,” the woman was saying, and Yaz looked down to where she was pointing at her arm. She politely held back from touching the skin; of course she did, they didn’t know one another, and sure enough there was a smudge of black there from where she’d held Yaz. 

Yaz shook her head in a daze. 

“S’ok,” she murmured, taking another panicked gulp of the icy water and wincing as it hit the back of her throat. She could feel the weight of the woman’s stare.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to faint on you. Just...overheated a bit.” The embarrassment had yet to fade and it gave Yaz something to focus on other than the woman sitting so close to her. 

“What’s your name?” she asked Yaz, tilting her head in a gesture that was so reminiscent of the Doctor that it took Yaz a moment to answer. 

“Yasmin Khan. Yaz, to my friends.” Reciting the script was easy, at least.

The other woman smiled warmly.

“Alright, Yasmin. Nice to meet you.”

There was a pause while Yaz considered how different their introductions went this time around. She couldn’t get over how different this woman seemed to the Doctor, despite their obvious similarities.

“I’m Jaime,” the mechanic continued, before downing the rest of her water and reaching silently for Yaz’s glass. While she busied herself in the kitchen, Yaz mentally kicked herself at her lack of social skills. 

Why hadn’t she started with names? Yaz had had plenty of time to consider what would happen if she’d found the Doctor. But the idea that the Doctor wouldn’t know who she was seemed so bizarre that the reality of it was a shock. Combined with the heat and the pounding in her head, Yaz wished she could start this interaction again.

The fan continued to whirr; in the distance, a dog barked. Yaz could feel the seconds slipping through her fingers. She’d found the Doctor. And she couldn’t let her out of her sight.

“So...I- well, I guess I should explain why I’m here,” Yaz fumbled, fidgeting with her hands. All of a sudden she couldn’t keep still, and the words came out in a rush as if to make up for her earlier reticence. 

“I’m assuming it’s something to do with the Corsa parked outside?” Jaime asked, handing Yaz another glass of cold water. She remained standing this time, and Yaz tried not to be disappointed at the distance she’d put between them.

“Right, right,” Yaz breathed, relieved for a normal topic of conversation. She could do that, at least. “The air conditioning is broken.”

“Can’t have you overheating again, can we?” Jaime smiled, giving Yaz a quick wink to show she meant no harm by the joke. 

The gesture was enough to make Yaz start to become flustered anyway and she felt her mouth fall open.

“Preferably not,” she finally agreed. She was glad she could blame the heat in her cheeks on the warm weather. “I can’t believe I passed out.”

“It was a bit of a surprise,” Jaime agreed, frowning when she looked at Yaz’s expression. “Are you sure you’re alright? I can give you a lift home, if you like.”

Yaz shook her head suddenly, feeling the room tilt with the motion. She should take Jaime up on her offer, it would be the sensible thing to do - but she didn’t trust herself not to screw things up. She needed a moment to adjust, to prepare herself. 

“It’s ok. Thank you, though, I mean it. I’ll just get an Uber.”

Yaz dug for her phone with a trembling hand, failing to unlock it on the first two attempts. If Jaime noticed, she didn’t say anything. 

“Okay, if you’re sure. I’ll have a look at the car tonight and let you know how long it’ll take.”

Yaz nodded, confirming her ride before chancing a look up. She schooled her expression into something neutral, but it was hard to maintain when she saw the Doctor - Jaime - looking at her like a stranger. 

“Do you need...do you need my number?” she asked, uncertain. More than anything she wanted an excuse to keep in touch and she breathed a sigh of relief when Jaime nodded. 

“That would be helpful, yeah. Save you an unnecessary journey. I'll let you know the damage."

Yaz realised that she’d soon run out of excuses to visit once the car was fixed, but she’d have to cross that bridge when she came to it. She waited while Jaime reached for her own phone and read out her number carefully, wanting to ensure she had it correctly. 

"Alright. I'll be in touch."

Safe in the knowledge that they'd see one another again, Yaz practically bolted for the door. 

_Smooth, Yaz. You don't see her for weeks and then you swoon over her as soon as clap eyes on her._

Yaz wished the ground would swallow it up and resolutely kept her back turned while she waited outside. Only once the Uber arrived did she cast a quick glance backwards to the flat she now knew sat above the garage, but there was no sign of movement in the visible window. And why would there be? Yaz deflated, disappointed. It wasn't like a random stranger would wave her off, even if she did look like the Doctor.

Sleep that night was particularly hard to come by. A mild breeze flowed in through Yaz's bedroom window, offering some reprieve from the oppressive atmosphere. But she was too engrossed in her phone, staring at the screen in the dark as if it would suddenly come to life in her hands, despite the lateness of the hour. It remained stubbornly silent. Maybe Jaime hadn't had a chance to look at the car after all. Or maybe she didn't want to wake Yaz up. Yaz tossed her phone aside in frustration as midnight came and went.

But despite the lack of contact, she now knew one thing: she had to keep the Doctor - Jaime - safe. From what little she'd seen that evening, the Doctor was very much alone and completely unaware of the danger she was in. Yaz sighed heavily, screwing her eyes shut and trying to ignore the lingering sensation of strong arms carrying her to safety.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP sleep, this chapter needed writing 🙃 probably should have slept more before posting it, though, I'm not entirely happy with it but hey ho 😂

Yaz was grateful to have a work shift the next day because she knew that her phone would be burning a hole in her pocket otherwise. She left it in her locker and, despite her tiredness, threw herself into the day with full enthusiasm, figuring that at least it would pass more quickly that way. 

On a couple of occasions she found her mind slipping to thoughts of the Doctor - of Jaime - and she corralled them quickly. It wouldn’t do to get so distracted on shift. And besides, now that she’d found her, surely the pressure was off? One of the main challenges to ensuring her safety was that they had no idea where she was. 

“Earth to Yaz!”

Apparently her attempts to avoid distraction weren’t proving entirely successful and Yaz slammed the car door in surprise. She’d just made it back to the station and with every mile that she got closer, the more her mind considered what might be awaiting her when she unlocked her phone. Hopefully an excuse to see Jaime.

She sighed when she saw who’d called her out.

“Sorry, Sam. Just a bit tired today. What did you need?” she asked her fellow probationary officer, wondering if she'd catch a break.

“I was just wondering if you’d like a coffee, actually,” Sam smiled, and Yaz did a double take. She had a feeling that he was interested in her as more than a colleague and she certainly wasn’t interested in him. But for him to outright ask her was new and she floundered for a moment, caught off guard. 

“Come on, I’ll buy and everything. You look like you need one.”

Yaz weighed up her options. All she wanted to do was open up her locker and check her phone. But she’d hesitated a fraction too long and Sam was walking over with that charming grin in place, and she knew that she should really make the effort. Try to act and function like a normal human being rather than the shell of a person she’d been over the past few weeks. 

“You know what? Sure. But I really need to get going after this. And it’ll probably need to be iced,” she sighed, pasting on a smile. Her superiors had told her how important it was to foster collegiate relationships and as much as she wanted to see Jaime, she had to actively balance her other commitments better than she had been. The Doctor couldn’t always be her number one priority. 

Despite her reservations, a friendly chat over coffee was exactly what she needed to keep her thoughts from wandering. It didn’t hurt to discover that Sam actually had a boyfriend, which helped put her at ease in his company. He’d simply wanted to get to know her and Yaz felt suitably guilty for jumping to conclusions about his motives. The tension she was carrying had clearly started to bleed into her everyday life, which was not a good sign.

Their conversation also yielded several benefits that made Yaz thank her lucky stars.

For a start, when she’d finally grabbed hold of her phone, Yaz realised she’d managed to successfully ignore notifications from Jamie for a grand total of six hours. Jaime had tried calling and then messaged just before lunch. Yaz instantly saved her number with a sense of relief and apologised for the delay in her reply, noting the time - nearly 6 pm - and wondering if the garage was still even open. But Jaime responded almost instantly, telling her that she could pop by any time and pick up her car. 

Without thinking and buzzing on the fresh infusion of much-needed caffeine, Yaz ran back to ask her new friend Sam for a favour: a lift to the garage. It was only when they arrived there that she realised she’d made an error by not getting changed out of her uniform first. Once she left the air-conditioned bliss of the patrol car, the heat outside made itself instantly known. Sam asked if he could wait but knowing who she was about to see suddenly made Yaz feel protective, like she didn’t want witnesses. She waved him off, mentally adding up her Uber bills and tugging at the neck of her shirt in frustration. Black material was an absolute nightmare in the sun and she felt heat prickle uncomfortably at her skin. Thankfully, the garage was cooler inside and, like before, Yaz had arrived so late in the afternoon that it was deserted. 

Or so she thought.

“Yasmin Khan.”

Yaz almost jumped out of her skin at the sound of Jaime’s voice. She’d been convinced nobody was there. In fact, she’d never seen a garage so devoid of people, despite the number of customers - it was always full of cars, but Jaime seemed to be the only person who worked there. That, or she was the only mechanic who worked late.

“The one and only,” she replied, turning to try and place the voice's owner. It didn’t take long to find her, but Yaz was glad that Jaime was preoccupied when she did because she did a double-take when she realised what she was wearing. 

Jaime’s boiler suit was stripped to the waist today, leaving her in only a white vest top that left very little to the imagination. She was bent over an engine, meaning that when she did turn to face Yaz properly, Yaz could see directly down her top for a few precious seconds. Yaz had to force her gaze sideways, which was also a mistake because then all she could see was the toned muscles of her arms. A couple of stray streaks of oil helpfully defined her biceps and Yaz felt her mouth grow dry at the sight of them. 

_God, she was gay_. 

“Bloody warm today, isn't it,” Jaime murmured, her voice lower than Yaz had ever heard it. 

“Er...yeah,” she stuttered, wondering if this woman would ever not take her by surprise. Absently, Yaz pulled the material of her shirt away from her neck, this time for an entirely different reason. Breathing was suddenly a conscious activity.

“You must be pretty warm in that,” Jaime said, gesturing to Yaz’s uniform before reaching for a spare rag and wiping her hands with it. Yaz tried not to stare at them, but it was hard not to; she had deceptively delicate fingers, long and skinny but clearly strong and deft. Jaime was dextrous, that much was certain. Just like the Doctor. It didn’t surprise Yaz that her human equivalent had ended up as a mechanic, given how fond she was of tinkering with the TARDIS.

Even her boiler suit was TARDIS blue, Yaz realised. All these little hints gave Jaime a familiar aura but there was something unique about her that Yaz couldn’t quite put her finger on. Every time she opened her mouth the accent was the same, even the voice, at times, but the way she spoke and what she said was so different to the Doctor that Yaz had to remind herself that they were technically different people, despite the physical similarities. 

The way Jaime looked at her was also different. She had a glint in her eye, a mischievous one that gave her expression an edge the Doctor never possessed. Or if she did, she hid it well. The Doctor had become far more guarded recently, but Jaime’s face was an open book that Yaz was just learning to read. It was exciting, she realised, getting to know her. 

“Busy day?” she asked, circling the car closest to her and making her way over to where Jaime was working. Although she regretted wearing her uniform, it gave her something of a confidence boost and she was sure she’d seen Jaime’s eyes widen at the sight of it. _Two could play that game._

"You could say that," Jaime paused, clearly weighing up how much detail to go into. 

“Yeah? I bet it was more interesting than mine,” Yaz encouraged, keen to hear more. Anything to keep this woman talking, she reasoned. They needed to form some kind of friendship, or Yaz would have to resort to doing drive-bys every night and it was far too hot to be doing that all summer.

"I somehow doubt it, given that you're in the police," Jaime acknowledged. 

"Trust me, there are more parking disputes than high-speed chases. I'm listening."

Jamie grinned lopsidedly. 

"You see this car here?" She gestured to a shiny-looking vehicle that Yaz had barely noticed, so focused had she been on finding Jaime. Cars were one and the same to her; when Ryan started talking about them she normally tuned out. But when Jaime started talking, Yaz was enraptured. 

"The engine control unit was playing up. That bit of kit controls literally everything in the engine, from sensing the readings in the catalytic converter to the amount of oxygen in the engine. Kind of like a central nervous system, really."

Yaz bit her lip as Jaime started to become more animated, unable to keep her hands still. So like the Doctor. Yaz couldn't help but think of the Doctor explaining the anti-matter drive on Tsuranga. This engine probably wasn't too dissimilar, in a way, but even if it was, the way Jaime explained it was almost identical. 

"Back in the day a carburettor would have taken care of mixing the air with the fuel. But now, one module uses inputs from all over the engine and controls actuators to fine-tune everything simultaneously. It’s incredible.”

Jaime’s passion for the subject was clear and although Yaz had understood very few of the words that had left her mouth, she found herself fixed on it as Jaime spoke. So much so that she didn’t fail to notice Jaime falter mid-explanation of fuel injection, suddenly trailing off. 

“Whoah. Sorry. Got a bit carried away, there.” Jaime shook her head, frowning. “I swear I don’t bore all my customers with talk about engines.”

Yaz watched as Jaime started to tidy away some tools, the muscles in her arms tensing as she lifted the heavier items, whose purpose Yaz could only hazard a guess at. She couldn’t help but think about how strong Jaime must be if she’d managed to carry her up a flight of stairs with minimal difficulty. She struggled to lift people during police training but Jaime had done it like it was easy. 

She also couldn’t help but wonder how those muscles would feel under her hands. Or whether Jaime would be gentle if she pushed her back against a wall and pinned her in place-

Yaz shut down that particular stream of thought almost instantly. She could feel herself starting to swelter and it had very little to do with the weather. Her mind had turned treacherous, leaving her stranded mid-conversation.

“Besides, I imagine you’ve got more important things to be doing than listen to me talk.” 

Yaz instantly picked up on the self-disparaging tone, wishing she’d actually said something rather than daydreaming. 

“I liked it, actually,” she blurted. One of her favourite things about the Doctor was her infectious enthusiasm passion for things, no matter how seemingly insignificant. 

“Really?” the other woman asked, looking up from her task in surprise. 

“Yeah. Really."

Yaz smiled, hoping to bring Jaime out of herself. But the other woman remained closed off, fiddling with the tool in her hand. Something had clearly spooked her.

"I can also imagine you have better things to do than wait for me to pick up my car," Yaz admitted. "I'm sorry I'm so late." 

_I was just trying to avoid melting into a gay puddle as soon as I saw you._

"How much do I owe you?” she ploughed on. The longer she stood there, the hotter she got. It didn’t help that Jaime was looking at her intently, giving her her full attention. 

“On the house,” Jaime said, finally breaking out in a smile. 

“You can't do that!” Yaz protested, taken by complete surprise. She had a feeling that fixing the problem had taken at least a fair few hours. Not that she’d ever know. Or perhaps she could ask for an explanation...keep Jaime talking. Even just for a few more minutes. 

“I didn’t need to order a new part, and the repair was very minor. That, and I was a bit...off, yesterday. I felt bad. And you’d fainted.”

Jaime shoved her hands in the pockets of her trousers, and Yaz had to try not to stare at the way her arms framed her torso. Since when was the Doctor that toned? 

“I suppose you don’t get many people fainting in your garage,” Yaz guessed, still slightly embarrassed about what had happened.

“Hey, it’s ok. There’s a first time for everything.” 

There was a pause as they looked at one another, unsure how to proceed. Yaz couldn’t tell if she was reading into things, and it had been a long time since she'd flirted with anyone. Jaime was far less socially awkward than the Doctor, so it was hard to tell what she was thinking. But her expression was one of curiosity; she clearly wasn’t in a hurry for their conversation to end. 

“So..you say you felt off?” Yaz asked.

“Honestly? I got the weirdest sense of deja vu when I saw you. It really threw me. I don’t normally believe in that kind of stuff. And I got it again, just now. Talking about engines…”

Jaime frowned, pursing her lips. Yaz wondered what it would be like to kiss them, then took such a surprised inhale of breath that she nearly choked.

“Deja vu?” She asked, suddenly wondering if she’d made a mistake by getting too close. The last thing she wanted to do was jeopardise the Doctor’s cover. She hadn’t even thought that would be a possibility but there was still clearly something of the Doctor left behind, after all. 

“Yeah. Like we’d met before.”

“Oh. Nope, don’t think so!” Yaz supplied, a little too enthusiastically, completely killing the conversation. She mentally kicked herself as Jaime regarded her curiously for a moment, then shrugged. 

“Fair enough. Well, Yasmin Khan, the car is all yours.”

She walked over to a wall on the other side of the room that Yaz realised was covered in keys. Without a second’s hesitation she snagged the correct one and passed it to Yaz. Their fingers brushed for a second, just long enough for Yaz to feel the contact all the way through to her bones.

“Why do you keep calling me by my full name?” she asked, genuinely curious. Jaime's insistence on using her name threw her every time, reminding her that they were strangers. Her skin still tingled where they’d touched. 

“You said only your friends call you Yaz. I don’t think we’re quite there yet,” Jaime said, watching Yaz’s face carefully. 

Yaz huffed out a laugh. “Now you’re just being stubborn. You can also call me Yasmin, if you like.”

She hesitated when she realised she’d been a bit over-familiar. They barely knew one another, really. But whether it was the deja vu or something else brewing between them, Jaime embraced the shift in tone. 

“We definitely don’t know one another well enough, then. If we did, you’d know I’m as stubborn as a mule.”

“I don’t doubt that, somehow. I’m a pretty good judge of character,” Yaz replied, feeling a frisson of excitement as Jaime gave her a less than subtle once-over. It had been a long time since she’d felt this interested in anybody, and the suggestion that Jaime might want to get to know her better was more than a little exciting, if she was honest. 

“Did you want to find out if your assessment of me was correct?” Jaime asked, echoing her exact thoughts almost seconds later. Jaime was bold, Yaz had to give her that, but she checked herself.

She’d only just about dealt with her feelings for the Doctor - or so she thought - and now, here she was flirting with her doppelganger. With regret, she took a step back, realising she was probably sending out completely mixed messages. Jaime raised an eyebrow but said nothing. It was like they were playing chess, or doing some kind of weird dance around one another. Yaz had never experienced anything like it but it sent a thrill through her veins when she realised that Jaime seemed equally as interested in taking part.

“Maybe we’ll just have to wait and see,” Yaz said, patting herself on the back for playing it cool. For once. It was a non-answer, but Jaime didn’t seem dissuaded. If anything, she seemed to enjoy a challenge.

“Since your car is now fixed, I’m not sure when that might be,” Jaime pointed out, entirely reasonably. 

_Ask her out._

Yaz hesitated. As tempting as it would be to throw caution to the wind, there were other things at play, here. More serious things. The Doctor had gone into hiding because her life was in danger and Yaz couldn’t jeopardise that for a simple fling. Which is all this could ever be; a temporary thing. Yaz pictured the watch tucked safely in her bedside drawer. Just like that watch, she needed to keep this woman safe. She just had to navigate the best way of doing so. Perhaps a bit of distance would help her keep a level head.

Yaz sighed, resigning herself to the more sensible course of action. She tried to ignore the throbbing between her legs at the very idea of giving in to what Jaime was hinting at.

“You know, it’s funny you mention that. The...er...brake pads. I think they needed replacing.”

Jaime clearly didn’t buy it but she laughed in good humour.

“Alright. I didn’t look at anything else when I fixed the air con. But you do know that means leaving your car here for another day?”

“Fine with me!” Yaz breathed a sigh of relief. She took another step away, hoping that some space would help her keep her resolve. 

“Normally people want to take their cars home. You seem to want to leave it.”

With dawning dread, Yaz realised that her mum would not be too impressed with another delay to her car being repaired. One day on the buses and she was already fed up. But, on the plus side, at least the air conditioning had been fixed for free. Yaz belatedly wondered how much it cost to replace brake pads. Maybe tyres would have been a cheaper suggestion.

“Er...yeah. May as well get everything fixed at once, right?”

If her logic was flawed, Jaime was gracious enough not to point it out. Instead, she laughed once more, a light sound that lit up her face and made her eyes crinkle with mirth. It was nice to see the Doctor smile again, and it had been a long time since she’d looked this happy or carefree. Yaz wondered if the reprieve might actually be good for her; but then, hadn’t she said that she would be stored in the watch? What would happen when she came back to herself? It wasn’t like she was on holiday. Who, exactly, was Yaz talking to right now?

“Fair enough,” Jaime said, eyeing up another pile of tools. “Although I’ll probably have to actually charge you for the next round, what with the parts and all.”

She bent over to pick up a stray spanner.

“Yeah,” Yaz murmured, eyes fixed on Jaime’s arms as they moved. “Parts and….labour.” 

Her voice trailed off as she let her thoughts wander. The longer she spent there, the harder it was to keep them in check. And too late, Yaz realised that Jaime had caught her staring. She leisurely finished her task without a word while Yaz tried to calm the heart that was racing inside her chest. 

Once she’d finished, Jaime wiped her brow with the back of her hand, leaving a smudge of grease on her forehead. Yaz found herself itching to wipe it away but instead stood still, like a rabbit in the headlights, as Jaime gave her an appreciative look. 

“You don’t have to pay me for labour. You can, however, buy me a drink.”

There it was. Yaz couldn’t believe how bold Jaime had been in expressing her interest yet again and she found her resistance wearing thin. She’d tried to steer clear of exactly this but she was only human. As was Jaime. And it was nice to feel wanted. 

A bit of harmless flirting wouldn’t do any harm, Yaz reasoned, as she tried to ignore the now-blatant arousal that had flared to life between her legs; yet another issue she could deal with later. A drink didn’t mean anything, did it? This woman was far more available than the Doctor had ever been, and she was far more proactive than the Doctor ever would be. Yaz found herself nodding. 

“You know what? You’re on.”


	4. Chapter 4

Graham’s lawn had turned brown by the next time Yaz saw it. A quick mental calculation confirmed what she already knew - that she’d delayed this meeting for far too long - and she steeled herself as she shut the gate to Graham’s back garden. It had only been a week, but a lot had happened since they’d last met and while part of her knew that she should have told the others that she’d found the Doctor, the longer she delayed breaking the news, the less inclined she felt to share. 

It didn’t help that Jaime had texted her to delay their date - the use of the word had sent Yaz spiralling - because Yaz wanted to at least spend an evening alone with her before she had to burst the bubble. They’d texted sporadically since, simple messages about where they could go, but the tone had become flirtatious quickly and Yaz had capitulated easily. 

“There she is!” Ryan called out, grinning from ear to ear. He was chilling out on a deck chair, looking cool as a cucumber and entirely pleased to see her. His disposition instantly put Yaz at ease and she wondered why she’d delayed this visit. 

“Graham’s gone to the shops. Didn’t think we had enough in for the barbeque,” Ryan explained, gesturing to a seat beside him in the shade. Yaz looked over to see a pile of food on the table and laughed at his over-preparedness. 

“What’s got you so happy?” Yaz asked as she sat down, genuinely bemused at how upbeat Ryan seemed. Then, she remembered what they’d discussed last time she was there. “Wait. Let me guess...that girl?”

The excuse to rib him meant Yaz could conveniently direct the topic of conversation.

“You could say that,” he beamed, propping his sunglasses on top of his head as he took a good look at his friend. “Are you alright though? You look..different.”

Yaz wondered what he’d seen in her and tried not to imagine how knackered she looked. Maintaining a lie was hard work. She thought of Jaime’s text again and resisted the urge to look at the message once more. _Adults went on dates. It wasn’t surprising she called it that._ Yaz just felt very out of her depth, unsure of what to admit to whom.

“I only just got here,” she frowned, sitting on her hands to stop them fidgeting. “What do you mean?”

“You seem a bit tired. No offence, mate.”

“Yeah, well...this heat keeps me awake at night,” Yaz hedged. “And work is full-on.”

“Is that why we haven’t seen you?” Ryan asked, and Yaz could detect nothing but sympathy in his tone. No suspicion. 

She tried to relax into her chair, let the tension in her shoulders ebb away. She knew she was being selfish keeping the discovery of the Doctor to herself, but she told herself she’d tell them eventually. With the three of them travelling together, Yaz rarely got to spend time alone with the Doctor and although Jaime was very different, Yaz had a vested interest in keeping her identity a secret for now. She wanted to get to know her. The more logical part of her brain knew that she was just going to make things more complicated, but she also knew she’d never get an opportunity like this again.

“A bit,” she said. “I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to cancel the other day. Got pulled onto a shift last-minute.”

“It’s all good, Yaz. We’re just a bit worried about you, you know? You kind of ran out on us the other day.”

Yaz winced as she remembered her hasty departure after her last visit. 

“Sorry about that, too. I don’t know what got into me.”

Ryan shook his head. 

“Stop apologising. Just promise me something? Promise me you’ll let us know if you need help?”

Yaz nodded, trying to think of a non-committal response, when the garden gate creaked open and Graham entered, laden with shopping bags. 

“Yaz, glad you could make it!” he grinned, and Yaz felt another spike of guilt. Meeting up with them was a commitment she always tried to keep and she knew they had invested time and energy in trying to help her find the Doctor, mainly for Yaz’s sake. And now she was actively holding out on them.

“Here, let me,” she said, getting to her feet to lend a hand, but he refused.

“Sit down, love. You look like you need a rest, if you don’t mind me saying,” he frowned, taking a proper look at her. 

Yaz tried not to panic. She really was terrible at keeping secrets, and when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, the reminder that she was holding onto such a vital one made her knees weaken. She slumped into the chair, feeling slightly nauseous, and watched as Ryan helped Graham prepare the barbeque. When she saw they were both preoccupied, she risked a glance at her phone and felt a thrill when she saw the notification was from Jaime. 

“What do you fancy, Yaz?”

She almost dropped her phone in surprise. 

“Oh, er...something veggie, if you don’t mind?”

“No problem, love,” Graham smiled, and Yaz forced a grin onto her face. She loved spending time with her friends but she really, really wanted to know what the text message said. 

“So, any news?” Graham continued, and Yaz shook her head wordlessly. She knew if she opened her mouth, she’d let something slip.

“You sure?” Ryan asked. “Anybody new we should know about?”

Yaz frowned. _What was he getting at?_

“No,” she replied. “Not that that’s any of your business.”

“Oof,” Ryan replied in mock hurt, holding a pair of barbeque tongs aloft. “I know your love life is a tricky subject, but-”

“Ryan, do me a favour and sort out those coals, will you?” Graham asked, winking at Yaz as Ryan sighed. The fire had gone out and smoke was blooming outwards, making Yaz’s eyes water. At least, that’s what she blamed it on.

“He’s just showing off, Yaz. Ignore him.” Yaz sent him a silent thank you for Graham’s tact. She had a feeling he knew exactly how deep her feelings for the Doctor ran. Or had run, at least. She still wasn’t quite sure what she felt, anymore.

“Yeah, well, I know Yaz got a message from someone. She just checked her phone and hid it.”

 _Damn_. Yaz hadn’t been as furtive as she’d thought. She sighed. Perhaps she could tell them a little white lie. 

“Alright, alright. Maybe I’ve met someone.”

It was Graham’s turn to nearly drop what he was holding. Yaz wondered if she should have said nothing at all, not risen to the bait, but maintaining lies was exhausting.

“Really?”

“Yes, really,” Yaz sighed. “I do have a life, you know.”

The others looked at each other for a moment, not speaking. 

“Don’t say it,” she warned. “I thought you’d be happy! You know, moving on and all that.”

Ryan frowned but Graham nodded in understanding. 

“We are happy, love. How did you meet?”

“At a garage, mum's car needed fixing,” Yaz said. The fewer fibs she told the easier it would be to keep the crucial secret, she reasoned. 

“Oh, which one?” Ryan asked. Yaz kicked herself when she realised he’d had work experience at one down the road.

“Erm..I can't remember,” she lied. “Does it matter?”

“Okay, okay,” Ryan muttered. Yaz felt terrible for sniping at him but the last thing she needed was to give too much away. The heat and the questions were proving too much. At least now that she'd told them something, they might not think her behaviour was suspicious. Yaz fanned her face as she felt herself grow even warmer in the heat. 

“Do you mind if I freshen up?” she asked, gesturing towards the upstairs bathroom. She needed to cool down. And check her phone.

“Go ahead, you don’t need to ask,” Graham replied, sending her off with a smile. The moment Yaz had gone inside, he turned to Ryan.

“Go easy on her,” he chided. Ryan shrugged, seemingly hurt by Yaz’s refusal to divulge information. “You aren’t exactly being honest with her, either.”

Ryan tutted, prodding at something on the barbeque. 

“Alright,” he agreed, finally. “Something’s up, though.”

“You might be right. But we have to trust that she’ll tell us when she’s ready. I’m sure she will. Things between those two had been tense for a while so this is bound to be confusing for her."

* * *

Yaz forced herself to splash cool water on her face before opening her phone. 

_I know it’s short notice, but...want to buy me that drink tonight?_

Yaz froze. She knew the others would be confused if she left early, but she also really, really wanted to meet Jaime for their date. She hadn’t been there when Yaz had gone to collect the car - complete with new brake pads - because her mum had nagged her to pick it up one morning and Jaime seemed to work late. Her disappointment had been prolonged when their date had been postponed. Now she had a window of opportunity that she didn’t want to waste. 

Yaz chewed her lip for a moment and threw caution to the wind. She did that a lot when it came to the Doctor; why break the habit?

 _Only if you buy the next round_.

Yaz held her phone, hoping Jaime would reply quickly and put her out of her misery. 

_Are you planning on getting me drunk?_

Yaz bit back a smile. 

_Are you saying you’re a lightweight? I don’t actually drink, though, so you’ll be the drunk one by default._

The next message came through even quicker. 

_I’m an idiot. Let me take you somewhere else instead?_

Yaz felt her grin broaden. 

_You can take me wherever you like._

She knew she was playing with fire but Jaime was the one sending these messages. It would be rude not to reply. 

_I could answer that in several ways but how about I ask where to pick you up, instead. Where are you now?_

“Shit,” Yaz cursed. She couldn’t risk Jaime coming anywhere near Graham’s house. And she needed to get changed, at the very least. Giving Jaime her own address seemed a bit risky - if Najia clapped eyes on her, Yaz had no idea how she’d explain it - but she was far less likely to see Jaime from a high-rise flat than Graham or Ryan would.

_Could you come to mine, around 8? I’ll send you the address._

Aware that she’d now been in the bathroom for nearly 10 minutes, Yaz waited impatiently for the reply. It wasn’t all that different from usual, Yaz mused; the Doctor picking her up to whisk her away on an adventure. Now, though, she wouldn’t have Graham or Ryan with her, because this particular adventure was just for the two of them. With a grin on her face, Yaz confirmed their plans for later and practically bounded down the stairs. 

* * *

Many months ago, Graham had offered Yaz some advice that now echoed in her mind on a semi-regular basis. It was her new mantra, one she played over in her head as she fixed her eyeliner in her bedroom mirror. 

_I honestly don’t know whether any of us know the real truth of our own lives. ’Cause we’re too busy living them from the inside. So just enjoy it, Yaz, live this moment and figure it out later._

Eventually the Doctor would have to come back, Yaz knew. But until then, she was going to take Graham’s advice to heart. She scrutinised her reflection, realising that she really did look tired. But a nervous excitement had taken over ever since she’d left Graham’s house, and as the clock ticked closer to 8pm she made a conscious effort to forget her worries and have fun. Just for an evening. She deserved a break.

“Mum, I’m off,” she shouted, breezing past the living room and hoping Najia wouldn’t stop her. 

“Oh, alright love! Have fun at your….work party?” Najia asked. Yaz had been deliberately vague, hoping that her help with repairing the car had got her sufficiently into her mother’s good books that she’d not pry too much. 

“Yeah,” Yaz lied, dashing out the door before her mum could ask any more questions. She looked out over the balcony - down below a car was idling on the street, and inside it, presumably, was Jaime. Relieved that she was out of sight, Yaz unbuttoned the top buttons of her shirt to help the warm evening air flow through her shirt. Skinny jeans were possibly an error but Jaime hadn’t told her where they were going and besides, Yaz knew they looked good on her. 

She needed all the help she could get when she saw Jaime waiting for her in the car, the passenger-side door already popped open. Yaz slid in, almost losing the power of speech when she saw what Jaime was wearing: a henley shirt with the sleeves rolled up and shorts that showed off the most incredible pair of legs Yaz had ever seen. The Doctor always hid herself beneath such baggy trousers that these legs were a revelation. 

“Hi, Yaz,” Jaime smiled, leaning over to brush a friendly kiss across her cheek. Yaz just about remembered to do the same, using the opportunity to inhale the perfume clinging to Jaime’s skin. Whatever scent she wore infiltrated the space between Yaz’s ears and she forgot how to function for a moment.

“Hi, yourself,” she managed, swallowing hard. “I didn’t really know what to wear, so….”

“You look great,” Jaime assured her, still not giving anything away. “Although I don’t know about you, I had to get out of trousers as soon as I could.”

Yaz let herself picture that for a moment. 

“Yeah, it’s..hot.”

Jaime gave her a wry smile and started the engine. Yaz had a feeling she knew exactly what she was doing but rather than being annoying, it was intriguing. The Doctor would never be that smooth, she knew. 

“So are you not going to tell me where we’re going?” Yaz asked, relieved that Jaime’s driving skills were far superior to the Doctor’s. Not that that was difficult.

“Somewhere with air conditioning.”

“Well that’s a start,” Yaz said, fidgeting with the seatbelt. Jaime was as quiet as ever. “Is this your car?”

She made a show of looking at the interior. It was something old, maybe classic, she knew that much, despite not knowing the make or model; she’d tried not to read too much into the fact that the paint job on the outside was TARDIS blue, just like Jaime’s overalls. 

“...yeah,” Jaime replied, but it took her a moment to respond. Yaz risked a sideways glance and was concerned to see her frowning. 

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s funny, I was just thinking about how I came to own it but...it’s vague. Almost like a dream. The weather is messing me up,” Jaime sighed, running a hand through her hair to tame it from the breeze coming in from the open windows. 

“Yeah it’s hard to sleep when it’s like this,” Yaz agreed, relieved when Jaime seemed to relax and talk more freely.

"It's lucky I don't really sleep much as it is,” Jaime replied. “My brain just doesn’t switch off half the time. Which is why I have all those projects on the go. Something to keep me occupied.”

It was the most Yaz had heard her speak and it reminded her of how the Doctor could be when she got hold of an idea she wanted to think through. Yaz remembered the equipment scattered around Jaime’s flat and nodded, wondering where this train of thought was going. She knew the Doctor rarely switched off, or slept, and worried that Jaime was keeping her habits despite being human. 

“And then when I do sleep...I dream about such incredible things. Monsters, and planets, and a blue box that flies.” 

Yaz bit her cheek so hard she was sure she tasted copper. 

“They can’t be real,” Jaime continued, when Yaz didn’t say anything. “The heat must really be driving me up the wall.”

For the first time since they’d met, Jaime seemed embarrassed. 

“I don’t know why I talk to you so much, you know. I think I just like talking to you,” she mused, finally glancing at Yaz. 

Yaz nodded, wondering what point to address first when Jaime’s face suddenly shifted.

“We’re here,” she smiled, parking the car smoothly and sliding out. By the time Yaz had undone her seatbelt her door was already open, and she tried not to stare at Jaime’s bare legs as she got out herself. Jaime was wearing Converse and she had surprisingly delicate ankles. Yaz had never seen them before, hidden as they always were beneath utilitarian brown boots. She wanted to feel the bone of them under her palms and she shook her head, wondering if the heat had started to drive her up the wall, as well.

“Bowling?” Yaz asked instead, frowning up at the sign. She’d heard lots of good things about this particular alley since Sonya had once been and raved about it - apparently it was 50s themed - but Yaz was terrible at bowling. 

“I hope you know what you’re in for. I can’t bowl. You’re going to have to let me play with the bumpers up.”

Jaime laughed hard enough to hold onto her sides. 

“That’s cheating, Yaz! I’ll teach you to bowl properly,” she promised. 

And Jaime really could bowl properly. Yaz wondered if she had as natural an aptitude for things as the Doctor did, but after she scored strike after strike, Yaz knew she didn’t have a chance of winning. Not that she had planned on scoring more than a few points, anyway, but she thought Jaime might take it easy on her. She was clearly competitive but Yaz wasn't complaining, especially when she got to watch her technique from close quarters. 

After a few miserable attempts of her own, Jaime took pity on her and fulfilled her promise. 

“Alright, Yasmin Khan.”

Whenever Jaime said her full name it sent shivers down Yaz’s spine. 

“I’ve now had time to assess your playing style, and I think I know what the problem is.”

Yaz tried not to stare as Jaime bent over the row of balls, selecting a ball for her. 

“Here," Jaime said, holding up a heavy ball like it was made of air. 

Yaz eased her fingers into the holes - it was far heavier than she was used to playing with - and followed Jaime to the top of the lane. It was fortunate she had something to concentrate on because Jaime’s tutorial apparently involved quite a lot of bodily contact and she stood so closely behind her that Yaz could feel her breathing. 

When she spoke, her mouth was practically by Yaz’s ear. Despite the volume of the music, Jaime’s voice was low and smooth and she could hear every syllable thanks to their proximity.

“You’ve been kind of spinning it to the left. So you just need to counteract that a bit,” Jaime said, reaching out for the arm holding the bowling ball and guiding it through the motions. Yaz felt her arm burning not only from the weight it was carrying but also from the gentle touches of Jaime’s hand.

“Feel the weight of it? You need that, and speed, to get it to the end before it can go too far astray.”

“So...basically go hard and fast?” Yaz asked, realising her words carried a double meaning a moment too late. She felt Jaime laughing behind her, and was glad they were both facing forward. 

“If you like,” Jaime murmured, that silky voice close by Yaz’s ear once more. “Give it a go.”

Yaz let out a breath as the body behind her stepped away, suddenly conscious of Jaime watching her. She focused, adjusting her angle before throwing the ball as hard as she could. It hit the wood with a smack and she winced but it was moving, and its path corrected itself as it headed towards the pins. 

“Come on,” Yaz muttered, hoping to prove that she’d actually paid attention to Jaime’s advice and not been entirely distracted by the body contact. 

The ball knocked into several of the wooden pins, sending them flying with a satisfying _dink_. 

“Yes!” Yaz cheered aloud, raising her arms and turning in triumph to her tutor. She’d never hit that many without bumpers on. Jaime was watching her with a smile on her face but there was also something else in her expression, a sadness that Yaz noticed instantly. She lowered her arms, confused.

“I mean...I know it still needs work, but…”

“No, no. Sorry, Yaz, it’s not that. Sorry. I don’t know what’s with me, today.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Yaz asked, nodding towards their bench. Jaime had a beer sitting there, perspiring gently despite the air conditioning, and she picked it up as she took a seat. Even the way she sat was just like the Doctor, legs slightly spread.

“I don’t know what there is to say,” Jaime said, frowning. She took a sip of her beer, then started peeling the label, staring at it as it tore under her fingertips.

 _Please open up._

Yaz wished Jaime would talk about herself. It was something the Doctor was terrible at, and her lack of communication had contributed to the distance that had blossomed between them in recent months. Now, they had an opportunity to talk properly. Even if she wasn’t truly speaking with the Doctor, Yaz wanted to help.

“Maybe start with something small? Or whatever you thought of just now. I won’t judge.”

Jaime was quiet for so long that Yaz wondered if she’d overstepped.

“It’s funny, really.” Jaime sighed. “I just...I don’t remember the last time I was this happy.”

Yaz felt her heart breaking. Whatever backstory the TARDIS had conjured up for the Doctor’s human persona, it seemed it hadn’t entirely managed to mask her underlying emotions. 

“Oh.”

“Look at me, dumping that on you. Sorry, Yaz,” Jaime said as she put her bottle down and started to get to her feet.

“Stop a sec,” Yaz said, placing a hand on the nearest available limb, which just happened to be her bare thigh. _Whoops._ “Jaime, it’s ok. I don’t know all that much about you, but I do know this. You deserve to be happy.”

Jaime nodded slightly. “I am. Right now, I am. That’s the best I can ask for, isn’t it?”

“It’s a start.”

“You confuse me so much, you know, Yaz. I still feel like I know you. More than I actually do.”

Yaz tried not to flinch as Jaime steered too close to the truth. She felt trapped in a lie from all sides now - from Graham and Ryan, from her mum, and now from Jaime, who, understandably, had some kind of recollection of them knowing one another. 

“I think it’s a good thing, though,” Jaime continued. “We click.”

Yaz nodded, realising she felt exactly the same, and also realising that she had entirely screwed herself over. _What had she been thinking?_

“Maybe you met me in a past life,” Yaz joked, removing her hand. She was relieved when Jaime bought into the joke and didn’t seem hurt by the loss of contact. 

“Maybe. Do you think you were still terrible at bowling then?”

“Oi, I could be a bowling prodigy in the making! I think I just need a few more pointers.”

“Is that your way of asking for more help?” Jaime smirked.

“Er…”

“It’s ok, Yaz. You’re doing fine. But don’t think I’ll take it easy on you,” Jaime challenged, walking up to take her round. 

_No, I know you won’t, even if you don’t realise what you’re doing to me._

* * *

“So...this is me.”

“This is you.”

Jaime turned off the engine and they listened to it tick over in the dark. The sun had long-since set; they’d eventually been kicked out of the bowling alley so that the staff could go home. Both of them had completely lost track of time. 

“I live up there,” Yaz said, pointing up to her floor. Jaime ducked her head under the rear-view mirror but Yaz knew she’d barely be able to see her flat. 

“High up,” Jaime commented. “Bet you get some great views.”

Yaz vividly recalled the first time the Doctor had visited her flat and commented on the views. Jaime would never see the inside of it. 

“Yeah, they’re not bad,” she murmured sadly. Now that the evening was drawing to a close, she found herself at a loss. Should she try and keep things friendly? Her mind might be telling her yes but her body was sending very conflicting messages. 

“You said you live with your family?”

“Yeah.”

“They can’t see us from there, can they?”

“No. Why?”

Yaz had her answer in the form of a pair of lips pressed softly against her own. The contact was brief but it left her reeling. 

“Because I wouldn’t want you getting into trouble,” Jaime smiled, and Yaz got her first look at Jaime’s face from close quarters. She still had the same eyes as the Doctor, the same nose, the same mouth. Now she knew how that mouth felt against her own. She wondered how it would feel elsewhere.

“Goodnight, Yaz.”

Yaz shook her head, laughing lightly at how dazed she’d become. She should have known that was coming, prepared for it, but Jaime kept taking her by surprise and she couldn't get enough.

“G’night.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are about to get...complicated.  
> Please note the rating change!  
> Thank you to everyone who's left such lovely comments, they really make my day. 
> 
> And thanks to JTtrack2 for the beta!

_4 weeks later_

Yasmin Khan was pacing. 

She could hear movement from inside, indicating that Jaime was working, but she was still conjuring up the nerve to go indoors. At this rate, the relentless heat would eventually drive her in because even in the late afternoon sun, it was baking hot. Still, Yaz wasn’t quite sure what she was going to say.

Her endeavours to delay further dates with Jaime had failed massively, mainly because Jaime was entirely too difficult to resist. And Yaz’s feeble attempts to try and cool things down apparently came across as playing hard to get, because Jaime redoubled her efforts and Yaz was only human.

The last time they’d met up, for a Sunday afternoon picnic in a park that Yaz ensured was far away from prying eyes, Jaime had been so utterly charming that Yaz couldn’t really blame herself for initiating a kiss. They’d been so wrapped up in one another that Yaz couldn’t keep her hands to herself, giving them free reign to roam over the expanse of Jaime’s back as she’d practically pinned Yaz to the picnic blanket and deprived her of all sense of reason. It was clear that things were going to need to resolve themselves more physically soon or they’d both combust, and Yaz knew for a fact that sex was going to complicate things even more.

That had been several days ago, now, and the prospect of another date loomed on the horizon. Yaz knew she had to nip things in the bud, before they both got hurt. It was just so hard to do when things were fresh and exciting and when it was the last thing on earth she actually _wanted_ to do. Because try as she might to keep Jaime at arm’s length, Yaz knew her feelings were far from simple. The Doctor had become more and more like a stranger, the opposite to how things should have been, but Jaime was a fresh start - someone more emotionally available than the Doctor but similar in enough ways that Yaz couldn’t help but fall for her all over again. 

Yaz stopped pacing when Jaime herself emerged from the garage, holding a hand up to her face as she took a break. Thankfully she was facing the other direction because Yaz needed a moment to collect herself. 

It was so warm that Jaime had stripped her outer layers to the waist again, and from the way her skin glistened in the sun, Yaz could see she was slightly sweaty. It was the golden hour, and it made Jaime seem more ethereal than usual, especially when her hair caught the sun as she turned and saw Yaz. 

_Busted._

Yaz knew her mouth was hanging open and she made a conscious effort to shut it, clearing her throat. Suddenly, she was parched. All of her best intentions took a flying leap whenever they were close and this time was no different.

“Alright Yaz?” Jaime asked. If she was surprised to see Yaz she hid it well, and Yaz wished she had an ounce of Jaime’s poise because right now she felt like a sweaty, panicking mess. A sweaty, panicking, very gay mess. 

Jaime’s face was the picture of innocence but Yaz could sense something mischievous in her tone. As always, she was proving hard to read, but the moment she sent a soft smile her way, Yaz knew she’d been caught spying. 

“Want to come inside?” Jaime asked, brushing past Yaz deliberately as she made her way back into the shade. “It’s warm out, and marginally cooler inside.”

Yaz felt her resolve falter at the simple contact. She’d been craving it for days. She willed her feet to move, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness as Jaime headed for the sink and started to lather up some soap under the running water. It was hard to tear her eyes away from Jaime’s hands as they methodically washed the oil away, and Yaz instantly thought of those wet hands soaped up in a shower instead, caressing her thighs-

“This is a nice surprise,” Jaime commented, looking back over her shoulder as she rinsed the suds from her hands. 

Yaz nodded, almost forgetting why she’d come. She wondered if she should have done this by text message. But that wouldn’t have been fair, and she knew it. 

Then again, watching Jaime dry her arms with a towel wasn’t exactly fair to herself. 

“Are you alright?” Jaime asked, eyes crinkling in concern. Yaz knew she’d been too quiet and opened her mouth to speak without thinking.

“I am now,” Yaz finally replied, letting her gaze linger. She ignored the part of her brain screaming at her to stop, and stayed rooted to the spot as Jaime walked over. 

“That makes two of us,” Jaime smiled, tilting her head as she stood so close that Yaz could smell the soap she’d just used. One freshly washed hand rested on Yaz’s hip as the other smoothed some of the hair away from her face. “Hi.”

Yaz felt her eyes flutter closed as Jaime leaned in to greet her properly with a kiss, which was precisely what Yaz had hoped to avoid but secretly wanted more than anything. She moaned lightly, realising only once they’d parted that one of her own hands had made it into Jaime’s hair. 

The closer they were, the harder Yaz found it to think straight. It didn't help that their proximity never failed to trigger a warm throbbing between her legs that had very little to do with the heatwave. She could feel her heart quicken, thumping in a way that could only be relieved by squeezing her thighs together as subtly as possible. 

“It’s been a hell of a day and it just got a lot better. Want to see what I’m working on?”

“Sure,” Yaz breathed, trying to collect herself. She swore she’d never felt anything like that from kissing anyone else before.

“Have you ever seen beneath a car?”

“Can’t say I have,” Yaz said, wondering if she was going to have to try and squeeze underneath one. But all became clear when Jaime walked to the end of a channel in the floor and started to descend a short ladder. At the other end, a car was parked. 

“Inspection pit,” Jaime explained. “It’s a bit cosy down here but it’s clean.”

Yaz carefully climbed down, following Jaime to the edge of the pit so that they were both fully underneath a car. Jaime flicked on a light and Yaz looked up into what looked like an engine. The numerous pipes and connections were confusing to interpret. 

“What am I looking at?” she asked, genuinely interested. She had no idea the workings of a car were so complex. 

“I know what I’m looking at,” Jaime said. “The most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”

Yaz inhaled as she looked back to Jaime, who was watching her like a hawk. The light made her jaw look even more defined than usual and her eyes were wandering over Yaz’s body in a way that made Yaz feel naked. Suddenly the cosy space felt even more claustrophobic; it felt very warm and oxygen felt like it was in short supply. They were breathing the same air, trapped underneath a car, hidden. 

Just like all of their times together, Yaz was relieved that they were out of sight of prying eyes. It made it easier to hide her mistakes. 

“You really think that?” Yaz asked, genuinely flattered. Jaime nodded, reaching past Yaz’s shoulder for the light switch and turning it off. 

“Just in case,” she murmured, keeping close and using their proximity to push Yaz back against the wall. “There's something about you, Yaz. I can't get you out of my mind.”

Her gaze was intense and Yaz knew precisely where this was going. She knew she should extricate herself but they were so close, pressed together in the small space, that even if she’d wanted to it would have been difficult. 

“God, I- yeah, same,” Yaz admitted. 

“I don’t know about you, but I think there’s something we can do about it,” Jaime drawled, running her hands up Yaz’s bare arms. Yaz shivered, despite the heat. 

She knew she should say no. 

“Maybe,” she murmured instead, warring with herself as she tried to look anywhere but Jaime’s mouth. She could push away from the wall but where would that get her? Even closer. This situation had rapidly got out of hand. 

“I kind of came here to talk to you, actually.”

Jaime raised an eyebrow, undeterred. Unlike the Doctor, she was more a woman of action than of words.

“You sure the talking couldn’t wait til later?” she grinned, dipping her head and placing the softest of kisses under Yaz’s ear. It just wasn’t fair, Yaz thought. Jaime knew all of her weak spots and Yaz felt her knees weaken as she repeated the motion again, and again. She instinctively wrapped her arms around Jaime’s shoulders to keep her balance as the mechanic started to move downwards, kissing the column of her neck. 

“I should really-”

Yaz sighed as Jaime sucked lightly, leaving the skin tingling. She felt her head tilt back of its own accord. Whatever Jaime was doing to her felt good, and the noise in her brain was being steadily drowned out by the signals of pleasure her body was sending. 

“-really need to try to get my words out,” Yaz finished disjointedly, licking her lips as she struggled to stick to her guns. But try as she might, Jaime was well and truly in her thoughts and now, her arms. She felt small but strong, confident and pushy in all the right ways as she switched sides and worshipped the other side of Yaz’s neck, nudging a foot between Yaz’s and nudging her legs apart just enough to slide a thigh between and up. 

It all happened so quickly that Yaz was powerless to resist.

The moment Jaime pressed against the seam of Yaz’s shorts, Yaz moaned so loudly that she clapped a hand over her own mouth. She’d tried. She really had. It was just so damn hot she could barely breathe and the tension inside was so taught that Yaz knew she could snap at any minute. 

“Be as loud as you like,” Jaime encouraged, hands now freely roaming under Yaz’s top. _When had that happened?_

Yaz felt her control slipping. She had known it would come to this, and she could never say no to this woman. She could barely even think straight in her presence, so it was entirely unsurprising that she was now being felt up in an inspection pit. 

Yaz laughed when she realised that the inspection pit was being put to alternative uses and Jaime pulled away, confused. 

“What?” she asked, cheeks flushed. 

“It’s just...you use this to inspect cars, right? Not women?”

Jaime laughed then, too and Yaz felt her worries dissolve, realising that all she ever wanted was to make this woman happy. When she’d fantasised about her first time with the Doctor, it would have been in the TARDIS, floating in some distant galaxy. It felt unreal, now, some romantic vision that would never be realised. 

This felt very real, though, as her nervous system confirmed when Jaime’s hands returned their journey under her top and over her bra, squeezing just roughly enough to make her even wetter than before. 

This wasn’t the Doctor, Yaz reminded herself. This woman was _so_ different, except...in some ways, she really wasn't. The thought sprung out at her, unbidden, and Yaz briefly wondered if she should stop, say something, say anything, but then confident fingers were fiddling with the buttons of her shorts and then a hand was sliding inside and then-

 _Oh_. 

Jaime was fingering her like it was the most natural thing in the world. It wasn’t like Yaz had put up much in the way of resistance and she practically melted into the touch, gasping as fingers passed over her clit repeatedly, determined to get her off. It was easier to focus on that, rather than who had their hand inside her pants. Thinking about that made things far too difficult to deal with.

Yaz remembered to breathe again, compensating for the lack of oxygen by taking gulping breaths that made her chest heave. All she wanted was for those fingers to be inside her. She couldn’t concentrate and knew she should really at least attempt to, but the consistent pressure on her clit made her brain short-circuit. 

It wouldn’t take long, Yaz mused, groaning when she finally felt Jaime slip inside, moaning against her neck as she started to fuck up and into her. They were still fully dressed and Yaz knew they’d have to rectify that once they’d burned away the excess tension lingering between them. It had been there for weeks, waiting to be lit by a stray spark that would send them both up in flames.

“Fuck,” Jaime murmured, and even in the dim light Yaz could see that she was struggling just as much with the heat. 

She’d never heard the Doctor swear and Yaz clung onto that thought like a lifeline as Jaime started to pump her fingers hard and fast, somehow knowing exactly what Yaz needed. The Doctor would never be this confident, would she? Or was this some kind of muscle memory?

 _This isn’t the Doctor._

Yaz kept repeating it to herself like a mantra, uttering Jaime’s name aloud. 

“The one and only,” Jaime panted against her neck, and Yaz was certain she could feel her smile against the salty skin. 

“Stop stealing my lines and fuck me,” she gasped, fingertips desperately gripping Jaime's shoulders as her hand moved confidently between Yaz's legs.

It took only minutes for her to climax, encouraged by filthy words muttered into her ear and dexterous hands manipulating her every which way. 

Jaime kissed her as she removed her fingers, masking Yaz’s moan at their departure. Even in the gloom, Yaz could see Jaime taste the arousal on her fingers and she felt a jolt between her legs at the sight. 

They didn’t talk while they caught their breath, which echoed around them. Yaz wondered how loud they’d been and knew that the pit had probably amplified things because she was sure she could still hear the sounds they’d made ringing in her ears. 

“Fuck it,” she muttered, buttoning up her shorts. “Come on. Upstairs.”

Her plan derailed almost the moment they set foot in Jaime’s flat because those wicked hands stripped her top off almost instantly, exposing her to Jaime’s hungry gaze in full daylight.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.”

Any plans for Yaz to regain the upper hand were moot when Jaime walked her backwards towards the sofa, pushing her onto it and tugging at her shorts. 

“Wait, wait,” Yaz gasped. She wanted more than anything to see Jaime. “This isn’t fair.”

“Life’s not fair,” Jaime smirked, throwing Yaz’s pants behind her and pinning her to the sofa with a grip that didn’t leave much room for Yaz to move. 

“God, you’re annoying,” Yaz groaned, arching her back into Jaime’s fully clothed torso. “I need to feel you.”

“Later,” Jaime muttered, looking down at Yaz’s breasts. “I want to know what you taste like first. Properly.”

Before Yaz could protest again, she lowered her mouth and Yaz sighed as she felt a tongue flick across her nipple, running her fingers through Jaime’s hair and tugging as she felt teeth graze the sensitive skin. She hissed, arching her back as Jaime moved to her other breast, massaging the other in what Yaz had to assume was an attempt to drive her crazy. 

Yaz’s other hand drifted to Jaime’s vest top, tugging hard, and finally Jaime capitulated and sat up, removing it within seconds. She was bare underneath and Yaz’s eyes were instantly drawn to her breasts, which looked like they’d fit perfectly in her hands. But something else caught her eye. On a chain around Jaime’s neck was the TARDIS key. 

Yaz felt like she’d been doused in cold water. 

“Yaz?”

Jaime frowned, and Yaz could see she was fighting the urge to cover herself again. She realised her response to Jaime removing her clothes was the exact opposite of what anybody wanted to see. 

“Sorry, wait,” Yaz panted, trying to ignore the metal as it glinted in the sun. “Could you maybe...take that off?”

Jaime looked down. “Oh. Sure.”

The moment she removed it, Yaz breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Not sure why I wear it, to be honest. It just feels comforting. I think it must be an old house key,” Jaime mused. Yaz couldn’t bear it. One day, the Doctor would need that key again. One day, the woman she was with would no longer exist. Yaz needed a distraction from the thoughts she’d been using sex to shut out.

“Must be,” she said, panting slightly as she pushed herself upwards so that Jaime was straddling her lap. She sighed as their breasts touched, and she pulled Jaime flush against her. 

“What’s up?” Jaime asked, tracing a pattern across the nape of Yaz’s neck.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing,” Yaz said, pulling back and looking Jaime in the eye. “I just wanted to feel you.” 

It was hot and their skin was clammy as it pressed together but Jaime felt so warm and human in Yaz’s arms that she committed the moment to memory. It might be the only time she felt her like this. 

“We can stop, if you like?” Jaime asked, and Yaz realised she genuinely meant it. 

She shook her head. 

“Not a chance.”

* * *

Yaz snuck home early the next morning. It had been hard to tear herself away but she’d woken early and watched Jaime sleep for as long as she could. Eventually, she knew her mum would be awake and in need of her car, and the reality of life came crashing back down. 

Yaz sighed as she turned on the ignition and caught the start of the weather report. 

_“...end to the heatwave, with heavy rain and thunderstorms forecast for this afternoon…”_

An end was in sight, Yaz mused. She just hoped she could maintain her little bubble a little longer.

She was relieved to sneak in before anyone in the household was awake. But by the time she emerged from the shower - during which she’d catalogued no fewer than six new bruises and reminisced about how she’d got them - her mum and sister were in the kitchen having tea. 

“Morning, love,” Najia smiled, and Yaz returned it as best she could. It felt like her whole world had changed but she couldn’t tell anybody about it. She kept thinking about the previous night, about the way Jaime had moved, the way she had felt and tasted, the noises she’d made as Yaz had made her come. She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn’t realise her mum was walking over. 

“You’ve got a bit of something, there,” Najia said. “Looks like..oil?”

Yaz realised she was pointing at her neck and raised a hand self-consciously. 

“Must be from work,” she muttered, hoping she wouldn’t push and realising she’d probably made a poor attempt at showering that morning. Not surprising, really, given how distracted she’d been during it.

“What were you doing at work to get oil on your neck?” Sonya asked, puzzled. She busied herself with the toaster just in time for Yaz to see her phone light up with a notification. A notification from Ryan, apparently, judging by the thumbnail. Her stomach sank. Surely Ryan would have told her if he’d been seeing her sister. 

Life was just getting more and more complicated, she thought, pouring herself the smallest bowl of cereal in an attempt to appease her mum. Najia was a big fan of breakfast. 

“Oh, that blue police box is back outside,” Sonya chipped in. “I never understood why that came and went so much.”

Yaz felt the bottom fall out of her world. 

If only she’d held out for one more night. 

She jumped to her feet, ignoring the strange looks she received from her mum and sister, and headed straight to the door. The TARDIS hadn’t been there when she’d driven home a few hours ago, but it was certainly there now. Normally, she’d love to see it because it meant the Doctor was nearby. Now, it signified an end to something that she was nowhere near ready to handle.

With a shaking hand she pulled out her phone, feeling dread settle in her stomach. She couldn’t exactly hide the TARDIS from Graham and Ryan. 

_Can we meet? I have news._

Yaz headed back inside to grab her wallet and keys, and to shove on a pair of shoes. Just before she could leave, Najia called out. 

“Don’t forget a jacket, Yaz! It’s about to take a turn.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh we finally made it to the end. This has been on my mind for weeks (no exaggeration) so it's such a relief to finally have time to get it down and post it! I hope you enjoy <3
> 
> Oh, and if you haven't seen the gorgeous fanart a lovely person made for chapter 5, go check it out:
> 
> https://leabag.tumblr.com/post/190812314264/show-chapter-archive

Graham was in his dressing gown but Yaz barely noticed, breezing past him and inside the moment he opened the front door. She walked straight through to the kitchen, hoping to find Ryan there, but it was empty. 

“Whoah. Yaz. What’s wrong?” 

The nausea that had gripped Yaz’s stomach on the journey over hadn’t abated and she started to pace, hoping to keep her mind off things for just a few moments longer. This was the crunch time she’d been dreading, and it was coming far, far too late. She wanted to rip the plaster off as soon as she could, but she could only face doing it once, and Ryan needed to be there. Betraying either of them was hard enough; the least she could do was tell them both the same information at the same time, and deal with their ire in one fell swoop.

“Where’s Ryan?” she asked, eyes darting over Graham’s shoulder to the hallway behind him. 

“Just brushing his teeth...what's that on your neck?” Graham frowned, and Yaz lifted her hand to hide the oil. 

“Nothing,” she muttered, sighing heavily as she rubbed at the skin in frustration. A dark mark and an unpleasant reminder of the mess she’d landed herself in. Her thoughts briefly drifted to Jaime as she’d left her, wrapped in a sheet and fast asleep. Yaz wondered if she was even awake yet, or had read the note she’d left. Just thinking about what she’d written let loose a wave of despair; how things had changed since she’d left that bed. If only she could turn back the clock and absorb those final moments one last time. 

The sound of Ryan thumping down the stairs echoed down the hallway and he introduced himself to the room with a barely concealed yawn. Yaz gathered herself. Of the two, she had a feeling that Ryan would take this worst.

“Alright, Yaz? Why you up so early?” Ryan asked, starting to rummage in a cupboard for mugs.

“Coffee?” he asked, turning to look at her with such an innocent expression that Yaz had to try and memorise it. She turned to Graham, who looked more like a granddad than she’d ever seen him. She steeled herself, feeling nerves pinch and pull at her insides. 

“I found the Doctor.”

Relief painted their faces almost instantly and Yaz was assaulted by a barrage of questions as Ryan and Graham wanted to know more. _Of course they did_. Yaz had debated lying, telling them that she’d only just found the Doctor, but she was not a good liar. That, and the arrival of the TARDIS would be awfully coincidental. 

“Wait, wait,” she murmured, holding up her hands as if to ward off their words. Or, rather, the words that she knew were to come. “That’s not all,” she spoke more loudly over their chatter, quietening both of them instantly.

“Yaz? What is it? You’re setting me on edge,” Ryan frowned, joining them in the living room. He’d apparently abandoned making coffee for the time being, but Yaz could hear the kettle start to boil in the background.

Yaz let out a trembling breath, staring at a patch of carpet between their feet.

“The TARDIS is back, too. As of this morning. Which means the Doctor can come out of hiding.”

Graham cottoned on quicker than Yaz expected. Ryan frowned, a bit slower to catch up. 

“You don’t sound best pleased about that, Yaz.”

Yaz found herself shaking her head, shocking all of them.

“You found her before now, didn’t you?” Graham asked, putting the pieces together. “And you didn’t tell us.”

His words were gentle, but his tone was one of hurt and the look on his face was one Yaz wasn’t going to forget in a hurry. Ryan, on the other hand, expressed more than mild irritation. 

“You what?” he fired, voice raised. Yaz cringed.

“I didn’t know what to do.”

“You could have told us, Yaz. All this time we’ve been looking for her - Graham went back to work and everything - and you’ve known where she is?”

Yaz could tell that Ryan was starting to get agitated and she kept her distance, unable to maintain eye contact with either of them.

“I’m sorry,” she offered, forcing herself to look up and at their faces to convey her sincerity. Ryan tutted and turned away, muttering something. Graham simply shook his head in disappointment, but Yaz wasn’t sure who he was disappointed with. Ryan’s reaction was worse than she’d expected.

“I’m sorry!” Yaz repeated, and she really, truly meant it. “I didn’t mean for it to get this messy.” 

Hot tears had escaped down her cheeks and she brushed them away, embarrassed. The sight of them seemed to soften Ryan a little and he groaned loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“What did I say, Yaz? I asked you to promise me you’d let me know if you needed help. Let us know,” he said, exasperated. “Why did you hide it?”

Yaz shook her head. She’d been expecting him to say something like that but even so, she didn’t quite know how to make amends. She wanted the ground to swallow her up but even worse was to come. If it was going to be this bad telling Graham and Ryan, Jaime would be another matter entirely. Never mind the Doctor.

Unlike Ryan, Graham read between the lines. Again. 

“What do you mean, messy?” he asked. He didn’t sound as frustrated as Ryan and Yaz grabbed hold of the lifeline he was offering. It was time to come clean. If she was going to repair the damage she’d done, honesty was a good start. She’d never admitted any of this aloud before, barely even to herself, but Yaz realised this was as good a time as any.

“Before she went into hiding, things were...complicated. With me and the Doctor. Well, mainly with me,” Yaz shrugged self-consciously, shoving her hands in her pockets and then realising she was mirroring the Doctor. She pulled them out quickly, playing with a ring on one of her fingers instead. It was a nervous habit she really needed to shake but it helped at times of tension. Graham nodded sympathetically, encouraging Yaz to continue. 

“And her human version, she...she’s different. You know? She’s the same, in so many ways, but she’s different. In the best kind of ways.” Yaz trailed off, unable to help herself. She thought about the way Jaime felt in her arms and how good she smelled, her quiet confidence. How she was so strong, and at the same time so soft and loving. A mess of contradictions, almost as enigmatic as the Doctor, wrapped up in a body that looked very much like the Doctor’s. A body that Yaz had just the night before (and early that morning) touched and worshipped like they’d had all the time in the world.

“You slept with her, didn’t you?” Ryan’s question cut through her monologue like he'd slapped her in the face and Yaz recoiled. She heard Graham tell Ryan off but the damage was done and she felt her face burn even more. 

“Yeah? Says the guy who’s been seeing my sister behind my back,” she snapped, finally letting her eyes land on his face and stay there. Anger had come to the surface, not self-pity or grief, and Yaz let it. It was much easier to deal with. She smiled bitterly at the shock on his face. He’d been caught out.

“Yeah. That’s right. You’re not the only one keeping secrets.”

“It wasn’t the right time, Yaz.”

“Oh? And when would have been? That’s been going on under my nose for weeks, Ryan. How dare you criticise me when you’ve been doing exactly the same thing?” 

Yaz could hear herself getting louder but she couldn’t help it, Ryan’s hypocritical attitude wasn’t helping matters and things had changed so fast that she could barely grasp the magnitude of the shift. The universe had well and truly pulled the rug out from under her feet that morning.

“Time out, time out!” Graham raised his voice, physically placing himself between them. Yaz was shocked to realise she’d been right up in Ryan’s personal space and she took a breath. Rational thought was clearly not winning out. Whatever she’d prepared to say fell away and she resorted to the simple truth of the matter. 

“It’s easy for you, Ryan. You weren’t in love with someone who didn’t feel the same way.”

“What-”

“Yaz,” Graham sighed, but Yaz whirled and marched towards the door. She’d told them the essentials. And probably a bit more than she should have done, really, but if they were going to judge her then they needed to know exactly what had made her act the way she had. 

Yaz wiped angrily at her face and shut the front door more loudly than she intended to, drowning out their voices. 

“For fuck’s sake,” she muttered, looking up to the sky. Grey clouds had started to gather and a breeze had picked up, one with a chill to it. Yaz realised she’d not dressed appropriately for the weather - once again - but she had to keep momentum. She had to see Jaime. A quick visit home to retrieve the watch and she was on her way, opting for an Uber to remove the element of choice. The driver would take her where she needed to go. It just so happened that it was the last place on earth she wanted to be. 

Before she locked her phone she realised she’d received several notifications from Graham and Ryan asking if she was alright. Yaz swallowed the guilt, ignoring them for the time being. She would talk to them once the Doctor was back. Right now, she had more important things to worry about.

* * *

“Oh. Hi, Yaz,” Jaime smiled as she opened the door to her flat, still dopey with sleep. Her hair was mad to say the least, and Yaz felt her heart melt at the sight of her dressed scruffily in some baggy pyjama bottoms and yet another vest top; Yaz could see her nipples through the material. She snapped her eyes back up to see Jaime watching her with blatant amusement.

“Didn’t think I’d see you again so soon. I read your note…”

Yaz watched as Jaime’s expression changed from amusement to concern as she finally took a good look at Yaz. The Uber driver had looked at her the same way. Yaz could only imagine how upset she looked but the driver hadn’t uttered a word and she’d been incredibly grateful. Jaime, however...Jaime was certainly going to ask. 

“...but I’m guessing this is about something else. I thought you were back for more,” Jaime joked, trying to lighten the mood. She stepped aside and Yaz entered her flat, immediately laying eyes on the bed she’d vacated only hours before. Her mind was instantly assaulted by vivid flashbacks of what they’d done on it. 

“Yaz? Are you alright?”

Yaz nodded distractedly. “Yeah. Kind of.”

She reached into her pocket and retrieved the fob watch, holding it out. Jaime stared at it without a glimmer of recognition. 

“Erm...I mean, I do love presents, but this is unexpected. Why are you giving me a watch? It looks old.”

“It’s yours. Take it.”

Jaime finally lifted the watch from her palm and Yaz felt a metaphorical weight lift from her shoulders.

“It doesn’t look familiar, Yaz. Besides, where would you have got hold of something of mine?”

“Long story. But look closer. It’s yours, I promise.”

Yaz bit her lip as Jaime held the fob watch up to the light and scrutinised the casing. 

“Huh. You know what...it does look a little familiar. It’s hard to see, though. Weird.”

“Perception filter. Apparently. So you said, anyway.”

Jaime’s jaw dropped. “Okay, now I know you’re pulling my leg. I mean, it’s cute and all...you spend the night, and what a night, by the way - and then you leave early to buy me a gift. But you really didn’t need to.”

Jaime reached for her hand, moving closer, but Yaz yanked it away. She ignored the look of hurt that flickered across Jaime’s face. It wouldn’t be Jaime’s face for much longer, after all. 

“What-”

“I did need to, Jaime. Which isn’t even your name, really, so I should call you by the name I know best. Doctor.”

“That’s not a name,” Jaime frowned, thumb rubbing the brass of the watch as she felt the weight of it. Yaz saw the confusion animate her face as she tried to digest what Yaz was telling her. Putting herself in Jaime’s shoes made Yaz realise she must be coming across as unhinged, but to Jaime’s credit she didn’t run.

“Sit down, yeah? I think you might need to, because this is about to get weirder.”

Jaime sank onto the sofa and waited for Yaz to do the same, placing the watch on the coffee table where it watched them silently.

“I don’t even know where to begin,” Yaz confessed. “Whatever I say is going to hurt you, I think. Or scare you. But you need to believe me when I say that I regret nothing.”

“Yaz...I don’t like the sound of this,” Jaime said, looking so apprehensive that all Yaz wanted to do was take her face in her hands and kiss her fears away. 

“You and me both,” Yaz sighed, reaching for the watch again. “Those dreams you’ve been having? They’re not dreams. The heat isn’t driving you up the wall. If anything, _this_ is a dream.”

“Yaz, I’m very much alive and awake. Look,” Jaime said, rolling up her pyjama bottoms and gesturing to a hickey on the pale skin of her thigh. “I felt that when it happened. You put that there.”

“I know I did,” Yaz sighed. “I shouldn’t have.”

“What do you mean? You said you didn’t regret it.” Jaime sounded hurt and Yaz wished she could undo what she was doing. But the only way out was through. She’d known that going in, and at every juncture she’d made the choices that had led them here.

“I shouldn’t have done any of this,” Yaz sighed in frustration. She realised she was completely mangling her words when Jaime seemed even more confused than ever. 

“I don’t understand,” Jaime sighed, wrapping her arms around herself. Yaz wished she could do it for her.

“Open the watch, Jaime. It’ll explain everything.”

She thrust the watch into Jaime’s hand and wrapped her palm around it, urging her to keep hold of it. “It’s safe, I promise.”

“Safe?” Jaime got to her feet. “What’s going on, Yaz? Are you in trouble? Because I can help, you know.”

Yaz couldn’t help the smile that Jaime’s words elicited. She sounded so like the Doctor that it hurt. Guilt returned and Yaz realised, with a shock, that she had actually missed the Doctor. She was so close to coming back to her, to them, and Yaz was the one who had to convince her to come back. The irony of the situation wasn’t lost on her when she took one last look at Jaime’s face - the face she loved - and kept her nerve. 

“I’m okay, Doctor. You will be too, once you open that,” she said, holding out her hand and tugging Jaime back to the couch.

“Who is this Doctor? It honestly sounds like a codeword for something,” Jaime muttered, eyeing the watch warily.

“You’ll find out. Open that watch and it’ll change everything, make everything make sense again.” Yaz hoped it would, at least. _Would the Doctor remember any of this when she was restored?_ Yaz felt fear flicker at the edges and she pushed the thought down.

“But I don’t want things to change. I’m happy, Yaz. I’m happy here, and I’m happy with you.”

Yaz bit her lip hard enough to make it bleed. 

“That doesn’t matter. What matters is that I lied to you. When you said you thought you had deja vu...it’s because you do know me. Who you are now isn’t you. This situation isn't real. But that blue box that flies? That’s real. And it’s outside my flat, right now.”

Jaime shook her head in disbelief but Yaz could see doubt start to creep in. “If this is some kind of joke, Yaz, it’s gone too far.”

“Jaime, please listen to me. This has to end.”

“Why? I don’t understand.” Her voice was quiet but Yaz could hear the pain in it. 

“I should never have done this. I’m so sorry. I tried to stop when I came to see you yesterday, but…”

“But you slept with me instead?” Jaime didn’t raise her voice but she didn’t need to. The hurt was as clear as day from the way she couldn’t meet Yaz’s eye. 

“Like I said, I don’t regret that. I don’t regret anything, Jaime, please, please believe me. But this isn’t fair to either of us. And if you’re not going to open that watch, I’m going to do it for you.”

Jaime paused, eyes brimming with tears as she finally looked at Yaz. “Why are you doing this?”

“I think you’ll know,” Yaz replied, scared to say the words aloud. It was clear she’d have to do the honours and she reached for the watch resting in Jaime’s palm and opened it without a second thought, watching with bated breath to see what would happen. 

The light surprised her. It flowed like tendrils from the open watch, straight into Jaime - the Doctor - causing her to gasp aloud and clutch at her chest. 

“Shit. Doctor?” Yaz panicked when the light continued to swirl and the Doctor continued to hold her breath. “Doctor?”

She tentatively reached out, unsure what would happen if they touched. The moment they made contact, Yaz was alarmed to feel the skin of Jaime’s arm cool perceptibly. Jaime turned to look at her, eyes glowing in a way that Yaz would never be able to shake. It was terrifying to witness and the expression of shock on her face was equally unpleasant. 

“I’m so sorry,” Yaz whispered, realising that the human she’d fallen for had gone, replaced by the Doctor once more. 

“Yaz?” 

The light had started to fade but the Doctor’s voice was clear. 

“Yeah?”

Before the Doctor could utter another word, her eyes rolled backwards and Yaz barely moved in time to catch her before she toppled off the sofa. 

“Doctor?!”

But the Doctor was dead to the world and Yaz huffed as she pulled her shoulders up, heaving her back onto the couch. She lifted her legs, one by one, until she was lying flat. The woman lying there looked exactly like Jaime but Yaz knew that the moment she opened her eyes, the Doctor would speak. Provided she was alive, which Yaz was certain she was, but...still...

Her hand meandered to the pulse at the Doctor’s wrist and her fingertips tentatively traced the bone by her palm. Two pulses. She almost dropped the limb in shock. She was alive at least. Part of her had thought that the restoration might have failed but the Doctor was always thorough. 

And the Doctor probably wouldn’t appreciate waking up in such revealing clothing. Yaz searched for a blanket and draped it over the Doctor’s sleeping form. Part of her wanted to run away; to come back later. But she knew the Doctor would have questions when she awoke and besides, she wanted to make sure she was alright. She should do at least that much, Yaz mused. 

An hour passed, then two. Yaz energised herself to make some tea, listening out for signs of life from the sofa. There were none. Instead, the sound of distant thunder rolled across the sky outside and Yaz decided that fresh air might help. She left the door off the latch and stepped out with her mug, embracing the cooler air outside. Finally, some relief from the oppressive heat. Fat splots of rain had just started to fall when the door behind her creaked open. Yaz nearly dropped the mug. 

“Yaz?”

She turned to see the Doctor dressed in her usual clothes. The ones Yaz had bought her all those months ago in Sheffield. Her face was pale and drawn and she wobbled slightly on her feet but seeing the Doctor after so long without her was a shock.

“Oh my god,” Yaz murmured, instinctively reaching out for her before holding back at the last second. They weren’t that familiar, normally, as much as Yaz longed for the simple comfort of a hug. They could both have done with one. 

But to her surprise, the Doctor closed the gap between them and gently wrapped her arms around Yaz’s shoulders. It felt strange at first, familiar and unfamiliar all at once. She even smelled different to Jaime, Yaz realised, inhaling as she returned the hug and squeezed lightly. It felt so good to feel her like this. 

“You should be resting,” she muttered, surprised by how quiet the Doctor was being. Subdued when normally she’d have been full of life. Yaz supposed being trapped in a watch for months on end must be exhausting. Besides, it was safer to focus on the simple problems. Not the one hanging over them like the storm clouds, which loomed ominously.

“I heard you leave. I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

Even her tone was flat. 

“That’s a hard one to answer,” Yaz replied, looking up to the sky as the downpour started. “Come on, we should get inside before we get soaked.”

The Doctor shook her head.

“You go ahead, Yaz. I want to feel it.”

Yaz hesitated. The feel of the rain was refreshing and she didn’t want to leave the Doctor alone when she was like this. She placed her mug on the front step and stood by the Doctor’s side quietly for long moments, shivering slightly as the rain soaked through her clothes. 

“I remember everything,” the Doctor finally said, looking up to the sky. “I know that’s bothering you.”

Yaz opened her mouth and shut it without saying a word. She’d had a horrible feeling the Doctor would remember but she hadn’t planned on broaching the subject quite so quickly. Or so head-on. She’d forgotten how blunt the Doctor could be.

“I was kind of hoping you wouldn't, because this makes things...awkward,” Yaz admitted. She’d had so many intense conversations today that she felt emotionally raw. 

The Doctor still stared into the sky, hands on her hips. Yaz had no idea what she was looking at. Anything but her, apparently. 

“I know it was a one-off,” she hedged, trying to prompt some kind of response. 

“Yeah. It was,” the Doctor finally said. “Things can't go back to the way they were.”

Yaz felt her stomach clench and the nausea return. Her worst-case scenario was coming true. She’d alienated Graham and Ryan, lost Jaime, and now the Doctor knew what she’d done and was putting an end to it. 

Yaz was grateful the rain was hiding her tears. She’d cried so much that day that her face was aching, and she was surprised she had any tears left to shed. 

“But that might not be a bad thing, you know.”

Yaz hiccuped, the Doctor’s words taking her by surprise. 

The Doctor finally turned to face her, hair plastered to her head. Something of her old self had returned; Yaz could tell by the twinkle in her eye. But something was different. She was looking at Yaz in a way that only Jaime looked at her. The lead in her stomach turned to butterflies as she felt the full weight of the Doctor’s gaze, then the comfort of her hands as they carefully held her face. There was no way Yaz could move, pinned in place as she was.

“Yaz...I can't be her. But I can be me. Whatever happened...I still feel something. I’m sure of it.”

"What do you mean?” Yaz asked, voice barely audible above the noise of the rain as it hit the tin roof of the garage they overlooked.

“I’ve been a fool, pushing you away. I thought I was protecting you.”

“Protecting me? If anything, I'm worse off than before.” Yaz had to raise her voice to be heard as the rain got louder. It would have made sense to go inside but neither of them seemed eager to move and Yaz had a feeling these words needed to be said as a matter of priority.

“How so?”

“I think I loved you, once. But I could only let myself be treated that way for so long.” Yaz heard herself saying, the words a catharsis.

“Yaz….”

“What?” Yaz continued, exasperated. “You must have known. I followed you like a lost puppy.” It hurt to remember how naive she’d been. How infatuated.

The Doctor ducked her head, her hands falling back to her side, and Yaz had her answer.

“I knew it,” she said, regret and grief rearing their ugly heads again. There was no winning. Whatever glimmer of hope the Doctor had offered was in tatters because she had known, all along, how Yaz felt about her. She’d known and pushed her away, regardless.

Now, it was Yaz’s turn to walk away. She took a step back, then another, and then a hand grabbed her wrist. 

“What if I said I loved you, too?”

Yaz couldn’t help the bitter laugh that bubbled up and out of her chest, despite the words she'd longed to hear for so long. The timing was terrible. 

“It’s a bit late in the day for that, isn’t it?”

“Please, Yaz. Listen to what I’m saying.”

Yaz felt herself deflate. She’d been on the defensive all day, stung and wrung out to the point where she felt numb. And yet...something came to life. A flame she’d thought long-extinguished was being nurtured back to life by the woman in front of her. Yaz swiped some stray strands of hair from her face, feeling rainwater drip off the end of her nose.

“I'm so mad at you, you know. You shut me out and then went into hiding. I was so scared. You disappeared...but Jaime was there.”

“I can't be her,” the Doctor replied. She was frowning in that way that gave her a crease between her brows, the one that Yaz normally loved to see. Now, it hurt to see it.

“Was any of her really you? Surely she must have been. Somewhere.”

“I know how she felt about you.”

“That isn't answering the question.”

The Doctor sighed, letting go of Yaz’s wrist when it became clear she wasn’t leaving.

“Okay. Part of her was me, I think.”

“So what does that mean?” Yaz folded her arms across her chest.

“What she felt about you, I feel it too. I haven't felt that happy in a long time Yaz.”

The look of sadness on the Doctor’s face triggered something. It was a look Yaz had seen many times before, but without the words to accompany it. The Doctor never told her these things. She might look sad, but she never _said_ she was. 

“Me neither,” Yaz admitted. There wasn’t much else to lose at this point, she reasoned. 

“This is complicated,” the Doctor sighed. 

“You're not kidding. I can't believe we're even in this situation. It doesn't feel real.”

The Doctor tilted her head.

“There's one way to find out if it is, though. Trial and error. I can see that you blame yourself for this, but part of her must have been me. And two people made those decisions that led us here, Yaz.”

The Doctor stepped closer and Yaz could see how chilled she was from the goosebumps on her skin. But the Doctor’s attention was entirely on Yaz’s face, looking at her like she was a puzzle to be solved. Perhaps she was. 

“Close your eyes,” the Doctor murmured, and suddenly Yaz knew what was coming. She let them close, tilting her head up in expectation and apprehension about what was to come. 

And then the Doctor kissed her, their lips numbed by the rain, but even so Yaz could instantly tell that kissing her felt very different to kissing Jaime. Despite that, she felt the same rush of endorphins almost instantly; her blood felt like it was fizzing and made of molten lava all at once. Nobody else could do this to her, and Yaz wrapped her chilled fingers around the Doctor’s braces, trying to brace herself as she felt a tongue swipe against her lips. Before she knew what was happening her mouth was opening, and the Doctor gathered Yaz in her arms and kissed her until she almost forgot who she was. They separated reluctantly, and Yaz could hear her heart thundering in her ears.

“Did that feel the same?” the Doctor asked, genuinely curious. Her hand reached up to cup Yaz’s chin and Yaz nodded into it. 

“Even though you knew it was me?”

“Yeah.” Yaz was deprived of everything but simple words, but they were all she needed. The Doctor looked so wise, and tired. And sad. 

“She may be gone but she's not me, is she? And yet...everything she is and was, I'm capable of that, too.” It almost sounded like the Doctor was thinking aloud and Yaz realised that this situation was probably equally confusing for both of them.

“Are you?” she asked. “You don't talk to me, Doctor. You don't let me in. You don't share yourself. For whatever reason.”

“I'm not very good at it,” the Doctor admitted.

“For someone who talks so much, no...you don't communicate well.” 

The Doctor’s shoulders slumped and Yaz realised she was being unduly harsh. She was trying to communicate and Yaz was throwing it back in her face. 

“...but I don't think that's your fault. I can't even pretend to understand what you've been through. Jaime carried this...sadness with her. I see it in you, too. But I'm here for you. Just talk to me. If you want to.”

“About what? Where do I start?” the Doctor queried, looking genuinely lost. Yaz’s heart went out to her. They were going to have to work at this. 

“Whatever you want to talk about,” Yaz said simply. 

The Doctor paused, and turned back to look at the clouds.

“Did you know there's a planet of rain?” she asked, and Yaz wondered if she’d abandoned the conversation. _Surely not_.

“Not quite what I meant, but okay.”

“Bear with me,” the Doctor smiled softly. “On a planet of rain, you’d you'd think the people living there would be grumpy all the time. You know, no sun, permanently damp, wet feet every time you go outside.”

Yaz laughed, despite her reservations.

“They adapted. They made overground walkways that kept them dry and engineered ways to build on ground that was permanently sodden. They overcame. And you know what? They're genuinely happy people.”

Yaz waited patiently for the Doctor to make her point. She was shivering now, but the rain had started to taper off. The clouds were parting.

“Whatever just happened between us, Yaz - we can use it to build on. We can learn and we can move forward. I'd like to try that. With you. You make me happy. And I really hope that I'd make you happy.”

It was a very human sentiment. Yaz realised, with a start, that the Doctor was just as vulnerable as everyone else. She had put herself out there, not knowing what would happen. It was all they could do, or ask, of one another. Yaz knew she couldn’t expect to understand a person like the Doctor overnight. She needed to be more patient. And she could be patient because she knew that love would see them through. 

“Finally, you opened up,” Yaz smiled, feeling like they had truly weathered a storm. The horizon already seemed so much brighter than it had.

“I did?” 

Yaz reached for the Doctor’s hand.

“You told me what you were thinking. And I learned something about you.”

“What's that?” 

“You make me happy, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> As always, you can find me on Twitter @_mag_lex.
> 
> My fics are now on WordPress at maglexfic.wordpress.com. You should be able to subscribe there to all my new ones, since I won't be posting any new fics to Ao3 for the foreseeable future :)


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